Episode Transcript
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Mother, mother, may I take to the sky?
Mother, may I leave you here lonely?
Go nothing? May I leave here alive?
You don't own me?
May I, may I, may I, may I, may I, may go home?
[00:00:49] Speaker B: Close hello, listeners, and welcome back to the extended metaphor about capitalism. Goblets and gays have returned to the world of alien using free league press's incredible alien rpg with the second season of mother, may I? My name is Ferris. I use she her pronouns. And I am your game, mother. Perhaps for the last time. This is episode ten, eternal silence of these infinite spaces. All right, cruise. Anyone who's not dead, sound off.
[00:01:20] Speaker C: Hello, I am Navarre, and I am playing tank Metchi, who never dies. And our pronouns are he him.
[00:01:28] Speaker D: I am Mimi, also known as Michelle Jones. I use she her pronouns, and perhaps for the last time, Daniel Strauss is still alive. Daniel uses he him pronouns.
[00:01:44] Speaker E: Hi, I'm dusty, against all ods. I'm still here. I use the hebrew nouns. I am playing Martin Estrada, who.
Just doing their best.
Their best isn't great, mind you, clinging to Bugsy and tank with the last judges of their life.
And Martin uses he him pronouns. I think I already said that, but just.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:12] Speaker F: Hi, I'm aki. My pronouns are she her, and I am once again playing Dr. Matilda Fernandez, who also uses she her pronouns. We are specifically here to see if the aliens can do their fucking job and actually put me back down into the ground. I personally think, no, they can't, as I am armed way better this time. So, yeah, I promise I won't go down like a bitch.
[00:02:41] Speaker G: Hi, I am Aubrey. I use she her pronouns, and quite possibly for the last time. I am playing Dr. Darcy Langley, who just wanted to get home to her wife and daughter. She also uses she her pronouns.
[00:02:57] Speaker H: Hi, I'm Melissa. My pronouns are they them, and I am playing mercy Fairweather, who uses she her pronouns.
[00:03:05] Speaker I: And I am tick. I use he she they pronouns. And I am playing our wonderful cat cosmetic. And it's a good thing cats have nine lives, because I think I'm going to burn through eight of them this session.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: I guess it's time to. Huh?
The eternal silence of these infinite spaces frightens me. Blaze, Pascal.
Oh, we don't have time to wax poetic, do we? Your clock is running out of seconds, and I'm sure you'd rather not be here when it runs out. Let's get running, cruise.
I can't guarantee what will happen to you, so we're going to roll initiative, and once we are all settled into place here, I believe it is the xenomorph's turn.
The first xenomorph is coming from the.
We'll say the right, probably the right of the ship. And it is going to attack the ship directly.
Three damage to the ship. I suppose it is important to specify how much health the ship itself has before it ceases to be pliable anymore.
And that's going to bring us to our beautiful other xenomorph. Completely different xenomorph on the opposite side of the.
Actually, the closest thing to this one is going to be mercy Fairweather.
So let's see what it does, Ferris.
[00:05:01] Speaker H: Before it attacks me. I have the talent, personal safety. Is that something that I use on my turn, or can I use it as a reaction to it attacking me?
[00:05:11] Speaker B: So absolutely, go ahead and manipulate. Which one are you sacrificing? Your potential partner or your good friend? Dr.
[00:05:24] Speaker H: I saw how quickly Dr. Langley went to go pick up Martin compared to how long they let me sit. So I will sacrifice Darcy.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: Yeah. So how'd you do on that manipulation?
[00:05:38] Speaker H: Yeah, I got four successes and I raised my stress up by one. But I think I see it. Is it like a tail, a bite? What is coming my way?
[00:05:50] Speaker B: This is going to be the tail coming towards you.
[00:05:54] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:05:54] Speaker H: I think it's just mercy. Not even considering what's around here. And dodging out of the way of the tail, leaving it clear for Darcy, who wouldn't have been able to see it coming because mercy was in the way.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: That's so true.
You luck out somehow does not damage. You somehow misses this role, which I've never seen a xenomorph actually do completely miss.
It just stabs between you. But you do notice that it was aiming for mercy. And mercy kind of put you in the path of danger.
So that's cool and fun, and that's going to bring us to our dear friend, Dr. Fernandez.
[00:06:53] Speaker F: There's a lot of things here. I can see one right in front of me. Right?
[00:06:58] Speaker B: Yeah. So you are at the bottom of the ramp to get onto the ship. It is very close to you. It will be there within, like a single leap.
You can just barely make out in the darkness, in the fire of the hera that there are other unimorphs converging on all of you.
Some of the strangers seem to have gotten on the ship. None of the Medea crew has gotten on the ship, except for maybe Cosmo and maybe Vesper. They're like the closest to being within the ship itself.
You don't know if these people would leave without you or not, I'm going to run in.
[00:07:41] Speaker F: Furthermore, honestly, that's the only thing I can do that makes sense right now.
Running is a fast action.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: And then you also get a slow action or a second fast action.
[00:07:58] Speaker F: I want to run even further into the ship. I want to get to where the pilot is.
[00:08:03] Speaker B: Sure. You come into the pilot. I mean the cockpit where the pilot is.
You see two things at once. One, you see a xenomorph standing on the nose of the ship. The tail has already made impact with the glass and is drawn back to do it again. You also notice that your pilot is an Android with very obvious signs of damage, and part of his face is split aside and peeling off one side.
[00:08:32] Speaker F: Okay, so I'll take the extra stress that I would get from seeing an Android because we got Medea crew got Android drama. But as long as I'm in the cockpit, I think I will be.
Um, I had my cutting torch out before. It's still out.
[00:08:56] Speaker E: Dan is at the door and has let Matilda on board.
There's xenomorphs running out.
I'm not engaged currently with anything. Right.
[00:09:11] Speaker B: No, I don't think you see the one that was attacking mercy and Dr.
[00:09:15] Speaker E: Langley, even though that tail missed and probably hit the ship.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: It was so fast. You heard it, but you certainly didn't see it, especially if you were focused.
[00:09:32] Speaker E: Um, I think Martin would just want to try to get everyone on the ship as fast as telling Dan to just get in, helping Vesper get in, I guess maybe with the torch ready. Staying closer to the door. Ready? Torch?
[00:09:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:00] Speaker E: I'm not going outside.
[00:10:02] Speaker B: I mean, why would you?
Great. So we're going to move on to mercy, who did not get stabbed and dragged away and poisoned.
Okay, cool.
[00:10:14] Speaker H: Then I will just scramble onto the ship, pushing past Dan and anyone else I need to to get as far in as I can.
[00:10:22] Speaker B: You are now in the ship.
Vesper is now outside the, um. And it's a xenomorphs turn.
It is a new xenomorphs turn. This one's way at the. Coming up on Langley. You're right next to it. I guess that means it's gonna go for you first.
It's gonna stare deeply into your eyes.
You stand in awe of what nature or God or the devil has created. You get a plus one stress level and must make an immediate panic roll.
[00:11:02] Speaker G: I am keeping it together.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: How dare you. Stop it.
Cool.
Did you know xenomorphs also get two actions on each of their turns. And they get two turns. Most of them. Some get more than that.
[00:11:20] Speaker D: That seems unfair.
[00:11:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:23] Speaker E: Sounds incorrect.
[00:11:24] Speaker B: It used its slow action to attack you and it's going to use its fast action to get on the ship.
There's a nice spot just for it. Hi.
It is also its turn again.
[00:11:35] Speaker E: No.
[00:11:38] Speaker B: There are eight people immediately around it. Give me 1 second here. Umi wants me to go to bed so badly.
All right. 123-4567 best bird.
Sorry.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: It's okay. They're a ghost.
[00:11:59] Speaker B: That's going to be a.
Why do I keep killing NPC?
No. Okay.
They're not dead. They're not dead. They get grabbed. The xenomorph grabs them and then immediately takes them away.
They do take damage, but none of you would know that as Vesper is removed from the premises anyway. So that happened.
Something else happens that none of you see. And then we have Jason.
Jason's going to shoot them with his gun and we're going to make a ranged combat roll.
It is good enough. He does do damage.
You see him, he's had his gun out like the whole time. And he just spins very expertly. Puts a hand on your shoulder. Dan, now that you've been pushed out of the ship, rests his other hand on your shoulder like Mad Max style and fires a shot at the one coming towards you and hits it square in the chest. And you see a little bit of green acid burst from its chest.
[00:13:13] Speaker D: Yeah. Daniel flinches as a gunshot goes off like six inches from his head.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: For sure.
For sure.
And then he just kind of claps you on the shoulder like, thanks for the help. And now we move to the xenomorph that just got shot is going to take revenge.
I say revenge, but Dan isn't the way.
You also get to stare into the xenomorph's beautiful non and really be mesmerized by the dread beauty.
And feel a deep connection on a spiritual level, an emotional level.
And take one stress and make an immediate panic roll.
[00:14:01] Speaker E: Oh, no more panic.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Step to level scream.
[00:14:07] Speaker D: I scream my lungs out for one round, losing my next slow action.
My stress level is decreased by one. But every friendly character who hears my scream must make an immediate panic roll.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: Okay. Something is happening that none of you know about. And we come to cosmetic.
[00:14:23] Speaker I: Bro, I'm having the worst day of my fucking life.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: It could get worse.
[00:14:28] Speaker I: It could be worse.
I can't use a cutting.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: No, you cannot use a cat.
[00:14:37] Speaker I: So I don't want to go out there. I'm going to be completely honest. I am just a little guy. There's a lot of scary things out there. My mom.
[00:14:46] Speaker F: You saw your mom run by, so you know where I'm at.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: You're good.
[00:14:50] Speaker I: But also, there's a lot going on. And I'm a smart cat, and I know that my best option is to try and find something in here that will help people with thumbs. What does searching count as a shorter or fast action?
[00:15:03] Speaker B: No. Yeah. I'm going to put that as a slow action.
It's not like anything specific. But because you're searching, searching seems like a slow thing to do.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:14] Speaker I: Because I'm not sure what I can do in this. Like, everyone else has guns and knives and stuff, and I'm very tiny and the best.
I'm not going to swat a xenomorph in the face.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: You got teeth.
[00:15:28] Speaker I: Listen, if they get in here, that's another story. They're on the outside right now. I'm going to look around and see if anything I can find for anyone else to use a brain cell for.
[00:15:37] Speaker B: Go ahead and give me an observation roll and use this as your slow action to find something.
[00:15:43] Speaker I: Okay. This is going to be with panic, and I'm very scared because I have so much stress right now.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: The beauty of panic, on the other hand.
[00:15:49] Speaker F: Oh, wow.
[00:15:52] Speaker I: I think the viewers have context. I've rolled seven regular dice and four yellow dice. Every single yellow dice I've rolled was a one six.
[00:16:03] Speaker B: Luck is unlike any other kind of luck. So make a panic roll. Jeez Louise.
[00:16:07] Speaker F: Cat just starts scratching every one of them.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: Somehow I'm keeping it together after that.
[00:16:12] Speaker I: And I don't know how.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: I don't know how either.
[00:16:17] Speaker F: You're just distressed. You're just greatly distressed.
[00:16:21] Speaker I: Do I get a fast action or am I just, like, having the worst time of my life?
[00:16:25] Speaker B: No, you still get a fast action. Your slow action, though, is a failure. And nothing happens of it. Nothing comes of it.
[00:16:30] Speaker I: Is it a fast action? I jump scare the xenomorph on the front window because I have no idea what to fucking do.
[00:16:36] Speaker B: Yeah, totally.
[00:16:37] Speaker I: Okay.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: Because I don't guarantee it'll work, but for sure, I'll let you make a command roll to try to scare the xenomorph.
[00:16:45] Speaker I: I'm actually really bad at those, but I may as well move up anyway simply because.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: Fuck this. Fuck it.
[00:16:50] Speaker I: We ball. It's really funny.
Okay, what's my command? Oh, my command is literally fucking two dice.
[00:17:00] Speaker B: Hey, but you have four stress dice. I mean, what's the worst that could happen. You got to roll four stress again.
[00:17:07] Speaker I: To be fair, I've already rolled as bad as I can.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: Exactly.
Please roll stress again.
That's three stress dice. Three ones plus at home. But you did have a six at least. It just doesn't matter. No, you have a nervous. Oh, Matilda and Tank get it. Well, not tank, but Matilda gets to increase her stress level by one as the cat comes in, hissing and spitting and twitching.
[00:17:33] Speaker I: I thought rolling low was good, but turns out, whoops. No, it's not.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Well, yes and no. There comes a point where you just can't roll very low anymore with stress.
Marvelous.
Xenomorph on the nose, I believe.
Yeah. Nosy. Xenomorph is going to attack again.
[00:17:59] Speaker F: Yeah, that'll do.
[00:18:01] Speaker B: Let's see here.
Yeah, so it does nothing.
And then we come to the same. But it goes in a row. Sweet. So it's going to have his next turn. It's going to retry that sucker.
There we go. Okay, so it does at least try to do damage. And it's going to try to break through this windshield.
The crapper is holding strong. Does not break through.
[00:18:34] Speaker C: Let's go, crapper.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: Excellent. And it's not going to use other action yet.
And it's going to be tank's turn.
[00:18:45] Speaker C: Incredible. So, on the ship right now, we have cosmo. Dr. Matilda Martin's on.
[00:18:57] Speaker A: Bugs is on.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: I don't know if you can tell that from the cockpit.
[00:19:04] Speaker C: Would it cost an action to look back to see who's on?
[00:19:08] Speaker B: It would cost you a fast action to go back and physically look, because you'd have to get up, move your body, move back.
[00:19:15] Speaker C: I can't just turn my head.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:19:18] Speaker C: Well, I'm not doing that because this thing has already tried to slam through this glass three times. So I'm just going to.
It's hard to tell. Like, with this map.
[00:19:32] Speaker B: That's so fair.
[00:19:35] Speaker C: Would you say that there are obstacles in front of us? Like, maybe like a wall or a pillar or something? What I want to do, basically, is fly quickly, turn the ship sideways, and scrape this thing off the top of the ship.
[00:19:49] Speaker B: It will be difficult, but I will let you try it.
I am going to subtract two dice from your role.
[00:19:58] Speaker C: Okay.
Two successes.
[00:20:01] Speaker B: Okay.
Yeah. Pick your stunt.
And what does it look like as you rotate the ship?
Yeah, I'm going to save it.
[00:20:14] Speaker C: So, basically, yeah, everybody who's on the ship gets to stay on the ship or try to hold on. I guess that's up to Ferris. But I am basically taking off flying towards a pillar or a wall, and I'm just going to turn the ship sideways so everybody's not buckled in. I'm sorry as well. And just going to scrape this thing off the top of the ship and then start to make another loop around to see if it's possible to help anybody else. But I'm not going to land if there's xenomorphs on the ground.
Yeah, that's the plan.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Over. And if you were in the door, I will let you make a role to try to stay in.
[00:20:59] Speaker E: If Dan was in the door, could Martin assist Dan?
[00:21:06] Speaker B: Martin also has to roll. Martin was right there on the life in the first.
[00:21:11] Speaker E: Oh, okay, well, never mind.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: This one's going to over here.
[00:21:16] Speaker E: Well, let me roll first before I start offering help.
[00:21:20] Speaker I: So fair.
[00:21:21] Speaker B: I feel like I'll give you mobility to try to stay on the ship and hang on.
[00:21:27] Speaker E: Let's do that.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: That's so many dice on the screen.
Okay, Martin, looking bad looking. Oh, no. Both of you looking bad. Neither of you stay on the ship. So first off, you're going to go back over here.
I need you to roll those stress.
[00:21:46] Speaker E: Bye, Tank.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: I'm going to try to move the door.
[00:21:48] Speaker C: Bye, Martin.
[00:21:50] Speaker D: I tried, I got flea.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: Oh, great. Awesome. Cool. Amazing.
Martin, stop dropping things.
[00:22:00] Speaker E: I have nothing to drop.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: You dropped the ship.
[00:22:03] Speaker G: That's what you did.
[00:22:04] Speaker C: You dropped the ship. You dropped your hope. Your hope is gone.
[00:22:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Dan, you are fleeing.
I would argue. I don't know if the ship would be considered a safe place or not. You're not allowed to make a retreat roll. And you do have an enemy at engaged range, though I would argue it's closer to Martin than you.
[00:22:31] Speaker C: Which ship?
[00:22:31] Speaker A: Everyone else.
[00:22:34] Speaker B: Your ship does ship.
[00:22:37] Speaker C: Currently, I'm in the air flying.
[00:22:39] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's true. So it's not a safe place anymore. So I guess pick a direction, Dan, and run while everybody else gives me panic rolls.
Sorry. While Martin, Jason and Dr. Langley give.
[00:22:54] Speaker D: Me panic rolls, I'm running back towards the ramp. I'm just trying to get back to the ship.
[00:22:59] Speaker B: Okay. It is. How far off the ground are you, Hank?
[00:23:05] Speaker C: I don't think you would have went high. Like, high enough that when I turn sideways, I'm not touching the ground. So I'm guessing, like, throwing a number out there, like, probably 20 to 30ft above the.
[00:23:17] Speaker D: Oh, that is high.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Probably.
[00:23:19] Speaker B: I would say the space that you have, it's probably a little closer to ten, but yeah. Okay.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: Yeah, either way, enough to where it's like, I'm making this very tight maneuver, but I'm not trying to scrape the ground.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: Dan, are you still running towards the ship with this information?
[00:23:35] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:35] Speaker B: Okay, that is fair.
I will run you over there.
That will count as your fast action. I see. Dr. Langley drop something. Martin has nothing more to.
[00:23:53] Speaker E: Hey, look, guess what.
[00:23:55] Speaker B: Are you dropping something?
[00:23:57] Speaker C: Jesus, at this point, I lose a.
[00:24:00] Speaker E: Shoe or some shit. I don't fucking know.
[00:24:03] Speaker I: Yeah, at this point, you've lost your dignity.
[00:24:08] Speaker B: Jason keeps it together.
[00:24:10] Speaker G: At least Jason is keeping it together.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Jason is cool under pressure, baby. He works with these things. You can't save this, man.
[00:24:18] Speaker F: We were fighting aliens. Martin was basically playing strip poker. That's what's going to happen by the end of this.
[00:24:24] Speaker E: It wasn't just Martin, let me tell you that.
[00:24:26] Speaker F: Oh, boy.
[00:24:28] Speaker B: Excellent. Okay. That's going to bring us to Langley. Yeah.
Okay.
[00:24:33] Speaker G: Yeah. I am going to attempt to get on the ship. I've dropped the bolt gun, unfortunately, because that was the only thing I was holding.
[00:24:43] Speaker B: The ship is 10ft in the air. You could climb on Dan to get there.
[00:24:48] Speaker G: I guess the idea of, like, is it kind of close to where the hara wreckage is?
[00:24:52] Speaker B: Yes, quite close.
[00:24:54] Speaker G: So my idea is to run and climb up that and then use that to jump off onto the ship.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: It'll be risky, but I like the option here. This will cost you both your actions to attempt this full maneuver.
[00:25:05] Speaker G: That is fine.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Okay.
I'm going to need a mobility check from you to climb the Hera. And then I'll probably.
Yeah, just give me one check. We'll see how that goes from there.
[00:25:24] Speaker G: Mobility?
[00:25:25] Speaker B: Yes, mobility. Cool.
[00:25:29] Speaker G: Two successes, no failures.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Okay.
You manage to climb onto the hera without getting burned or falling off.
I think you can make the jump.
No, I think I'm going to make you roll for it.
[00:25:48] Speaker G: Okay, same roll again.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: Same roll.
[00:25:51] Speaker G: Okay.
That is three successes, no failures.
[00:25:57] Speaker B: Okay. You leap across over Dan's head and land in the hold of the crapper.
And that's going to bring us to a xenomorph.
[00:26:12] Speaker G: Do I get any stunts, sir, for jumping?
[00:26:17] Speaker B: I don't know if any of your mobility stunts count, but if they do, feel free to grab one.
[00:26:22] Speaker G: The only one I think would count was give one to another pc in the same situation as you like, the idea of I jump in, I like, wrap my arm around one of those cargo things, and then I immediately hold my hand out for Dan to grab. Okay, Dan gets a plus one.
[00:26:40] Speaker I: Excellent.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: Xenomorph on the outskirts. Xenomorphs are known for jumping and canonically have easily jumped 10ft with no biggie. So it's going to use its fast action to jump into the ship and is going to pick one of you at random.
Sorry, Darcy, I rolled for it and is going to bless you with. Oh, finally something good is going to.
Yes.
Deal. One damage, you are grabbed. I need you to make a close combat roll against its base. Ten dice.
Fair warning, you are in extreme danger if this goes badly. Like deadly danger.
[00:27:44] Speaker G: Two successes.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: Two successes. Okay.
All right.
You are grabbed, but you are breaking free. I do need all friendly characters within the ship to make a panic roll, including yourself. As you see a xenomorph leap up, you see Darcy jump into the ship, spin around, reach an arm, back down to grab Dan. Moments later, a xenomorph leaps up with ease, grabs Darcy off the ground, lifts her above its head, she sort of wriggles like a fish out of its grip and falls back to the ground.
So I see Darcy is frozen on the ground. Makes sense. Absolutely.
Your stress level and the stress levels of mercy and Bugsley are all going up. Bugsley's fine. Bugsley's cool as a cucumber, and the last thing I need is.
[00:28:49] Speaker H: Nervous twitch.
[00:28:50] Speaker B: Yep. So you're also increasing everybody's stress. Stop it, Dan. You're stressing. The person who was just holding out their hand is no longer holding out their hand. A xenomorph leapt over your head. The ship is 10ft in the air. There are xenomorphs everywhere.
[00:29:09] Speaker D: I don't think I can justify running towards the xenomorph at this point.
The only quote unquote safe place left is the hera. So I'm going to run back inside the hera.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: Oh, damn. No, this makes perfect sense. And I respect your choices here.
Yeah. You run into flaming ship.
[00:29:31] Speaker D: I'm fleeing. That's all I've got is flee.
[00:29:36] Speaker B: I respect your commitment to the panic condition.
Totally fine.
You feel safe. This ship is on fire. There's no xenomorphs here that you can see.
All is well.
[00:29:54] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm going to climb through the windshield and back into the cockpit of the hera.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: Excellent.
Marvelous. So, yeah, you climb back into the hera. It is your safety zone. Who cares if it's on fire? That's probably fine.
And who is this? Who is this?
You, Xenomorph is going to attack the ship again.
Oh, crapper.
Crap.
The crapper is down to one hp as the xenomorph that is still on the ship just starts shredding the walls.
It did really good. And the armor I rolled. Nothing good on armor.
That's going to bring us to the second round. Something terrible is approaching.
Oh, no. That xenomorph gets to go again.
It is obviously going to do the same thing.
A hole is punched through the side of the wall. All of you in the hold suddenly see a xenomorph head just burst through the wall.
I'm not going to make you take stress because that seems mean in the current situation, but that's where you're sitting right now.
[00:31:21] Speaker G: The stress economy is in.
[00:31:24] Speaker B: Truly? Truly.
The other one is going to attack Martin on the.
Okay, yeah.
Going to try to kill you. Just going to try to kill you outright.
[00:31:40] Speaker E: This xenomorph has anxiety. It's okay.
[00:31:43] Speaker B: Okay.
You take two damage.
I think I just killed Martin.
[00:32:00] Speaker E: Yeah. No, Martin dead.
[00:32:01] Speaker B: No, because it says damage to. If it causes any damage, it automatically inflicts critical injury number 64, killing the victim in one dreadful blow.
[00:32:11] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. Martin's dead.
[00:32:14] Speaker B: Martin, this is the head bite. You see the xenomorph coming towards you, the one that's been standing over your shoulder. The jaws open. And then the second pharyngeal jaw emerges and just crushes your head. This has killed many a person, most recently Billy, but now, most recently you. What goes through your head moments before your death?
[00:32:42] Speaker E: I think the only thing is Martin's looking up at the ship that is escaping. And that's not just like.
Well, tank never dies.
[00:32:56] Speaker B: Tank never dies.
Matilda, save us all. It's your turn.
[00:33:03] Speaker F: What exactly do I see going on right now? Right in this damn day?
[00:33:09] Speaker B: Not much from the cockpit. From the cockpit, things are looking good.
If you turn around, you'll see a nightmare.
[00:33:16] Speaker F: I think I have to turn around now.
[00:33:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay.
[00:33:19] Speaker F: It is my turn. I see my shit. I see ogo.
[00:33:22] Speaker B: There's a xenomorph in the hold with mercy, Bugsley and Langley. There is a xenomorph coming through the wall of the hold, which automatically means this is no longer spaceworthy. Is still flyable. Not spaceworthy.
That is all you can see right now.
[00:33:49] Speaker F: Objectively. The closest one to me is the one that is coming through the hole.
[00:33:54] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:33:55] Speaker F: I take my cutting torch and I burn its fucking face.
[00:34:00] Speaker B: Okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
[00:34:03] Speaker F: I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with that.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: It's going to be close combat.
[00:34:07] Speaker F: Four.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: Four.
[00:34:10] Speaker F: No.
Well, I got one on the stress die, but I have four successes.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: So one on the stress die negates all of your successes.
[00:34:23] Speaker F: I dropped the item.
[00:34:25] Speaker B: That's unfortunate.
[00:34:27] Speaker F: I still have one more turn, right?
[00:34:30] Speaker B: Yes. You can still do that was, I think, a slow action. So you still have a fast action here.
[00:34:39] Speaker F: I use my talent hitting stash and pull out another cutting torch thingy.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: Martin is dead, so it's mercy's turn.
[00:34:48] Speaker F: Okay.
[00:34:49] Speaker H: Did Matilda have to leave the cockpit to do that? Okay, then I'm going to take Matilda's place in the cockpit.
[00:34:57] Speaker B: Totally.
[00:34:58] Speaker H: And then is there a place for me to strap myself in?
[00:35:04] Speaker B: There's another chair in there.
There's two chairs in the cockpit. Everything else is going to strap in.
[00:35:11] Speaker H: And say there are two breaking into the hold. We need to go.
[00:35:15] Speaker B: Can you do another maneuver?
I love her. Okay.
And it's Jason's turn.
Martin's dead.
Jason doesn't know. Damn. There's a xenomorph on the ground. So Jason's going to go do some cool acrobatics here and get onto the gosh dank ship.
Sure. There's a xenomorph on it, but also he's going to pull up the same thing that Darcy did, hopefully. Yeah. And so that is going to probably be fine.
[00:35:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:54] Speaker B: He makes it and then he's got to do it again to jump.
He jumps and the xenomorph turns around right as he goes to land. And it kind of screws up his landing.
But he keeps it together. He just doesn't make the jump.
So that's unfortunate.
And it's out of Order because. Oops. Bugsley is going to beat on this unfortunate person that is the xenomorph. They're not a person.
They're going to whack.
[00:36:32] Speaker D: Xenomorph had it come.
[00:36:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
Darcy, you had a bolt gun, right, that you dropped?
[00:36:40] Speaker G: Yes.
[00:36:41] Speaker B: Did you drop it in the ship or outside the ship?
[00:36:43] Speaker G: I believe it was in the ship.
[00:36:44] Speaker B: Perfect.
They're going to shoot that sucker.
She keeps it together, though. Cool under pressure, baby. As she swoops down, picks up the bolt gun, tries to launch it, but it jams. And she manages to keep everything together. Moving on to.
Yeah. A xenomorph is the interior xenomorph? Yes. It's going to attack. I mean you, Darcy. Who else?
[00:37:15] Speaker G: It makes sense.
[00:37:18] Speaker B: I might be killing someone else here.
So it is going to hoist you up and do the same thing it did to Martin. Maybe.
[00:37:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:29] Speaker B: That's going to be two damage.
The xenomorph picks you up, Darcy, and the head opens. The second head emerges and it bites down on your head, inflicting injury 64. Which is the terrible death blow.
[00:37:54] Speaker G: Rest in peace.
[00:37:56] Speaker B: And Darcy bites the dust.
Any last thoughts, Darcy?
You never quite made it home, did you?
[00:38:04] Speaker G: No, I did not.
[00:38:07] Speaker B: On the bright side, maybe there's an Android living your life for you. So your family will never know the difference.
[00:38:16] Speaker G: I hope they're doing a good job.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Last thoughts before you fade into oblivion.
[00:38:24] Speaker G: It definitely is of my family. And just hoping that in the end they'll be, you know, Wayland won't come around and cause any more problems.
[00:38:42] Speaker B: So do we all wish.
And so Darcy does not survive the day.
That's going to bring us to Cosmo.
[00:38:54] Speaker I: How do you expect me to fucking react after that?
[00:38:57] Speaker B: I don't.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: Know.
[00:39:02] Speaker B: I warned you all. I said, you may not make it out of this alive. And you probably wouldn't.
[00:39:08] Speaker G: I was prepared for it.
[00:39:09] Speaker B: That was the conceit from the beginning.
[00:39:12] Speaker I: Crying cat emoji. The fucking Denny's tonight. I'm going to be honest, I'm kind of traumatized to act after rolling seven out of eight ones on my stress dice.
I don't know. But I think, all things considered, all things going on, just to make sure. I can't use a bolt cutter gun with my. Can't, like, it's on the floor. I can't pull the trigger and try to shoot Izzy and walk with it.
[00:39:37] Speaker B: Right?
[00:39:37] Speaker I: Or can I?
[00:39:39] Speaker B: You know what? I let Joseph pull off a gun with their head on backwards and dying on the floor after he was, strictly speaking, dead. So you know what? Sure. I'll let you a.
Just. I would make you take minus one, but I know your luck is terrible, so I'm just gonna let you make a ranged combat roll.
[00:40:02] Speaker I: Ranged or close?
[00:40:04] Speaker B: It's ranged because it's a ranged object. It's shooting.
[00:40:08] Speaker A: Hold on.
[00:40:09] Speaker I: Let me check my stats. It might be better if I try to bitch slap this thing instead.
[00:40:13] Speaker B: I have hair. It's the difference of a single dice.
[00:40:17] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:40:17] Speaker B: Range combat versus close.
[00:40:19] Speaker I: No, my range combat is better even though I have nothing trained in it.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Because close combat strength. Yeah. Shit.
[00:40:25] Speaker I: Hold on.
[00:40:25] Speaker B: I just realized.
[00:40:26] Speaker I: Okay, so there's a chance I pull this off. There's a chance I roll 3000 ones again.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: I was like.
[00:40:35] Speaker I: Then I roll a one.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: You did?
[00:40:37] Speaker I: Okay.
Thanks.
[00:40:40] Speaker B: Don't take stress. Roll stress.
You are minus two agility until your panic stops. You're trembling uncontrollably.
Terrible. I'm really good at agility.
I would say that you are going to panic until the next round.
[00:40:57] Speaker I: Okay.
Is trying that gun thing. My whole thing?
[00:41:02] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:41:05] Speaker I: Can I slide the gun to someone with opposable thumbs?
[00:41:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll allow it.
[00:41:11] Speaker I: Okay. I'm going to kick the gun. I don't know, the captain seems like they're, like, composed. I should actually move myself over here.
[00:41:19] Speaker B: Because I have to do that.
[00:41:20] Speaker I: I'm going to kick the gun over to the captain. So whoever's flying the ship and mercy, I guess you guys just see a gun clunk against the chair.
And then a meow.
[00:41:35] Speaker B: Incredible.
[00:41:36] Speaker I: Meow.
[00:41:37] Speaker B: Very stressed. Meow.
Marvelous. That's going to bring us to a xenomorph. Not a xenomorph anybody has to worry about right now.
And again, they're just doing their thing. Don't worry about them. They're the ones that got scraped off the thing. Not dead, but not great. Tank, there is a bolt gun against your chair. Mercy has strapped herself in.
If you care to turn around, it's bad news. And you have been informed that there are xenomorphs on the ship, bursting through the ship and you got to get out of here.
[00:42:18] Speaker C: Is there a door to the cockpit?
[00:42:23] Speaker B: No.
Maybe. Yeah, sure. Why not? Have one?
[00:42:28] Speaker C: Okay, I'm going to close the door.
[00:42:36] Speaker B: Okay, let's go, Tank.
[00:42:40] Speaker C: And listen, if I die, the ship goes down, so we all die.
[00:42:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:42:46] Speaker C: I'm going to close the door, and then I would just like to fly straight out the hole as fast as I can.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: I would caution you against going fast.
[00:42:57] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:42:58] Speaker B: Because of the tricky maneuverability, but yes. So you're going to be giving me a piloting check.
Basically, if you go fast, it's just going to negate any bonus you would get from the acceleration anyway. But if you go slow, there's no negative dice.
[00:43:22] Speaker C: If I go fast.
[00:43:24] Speaker B: So it kind of cancels itself out, right?
[00:43:26] Speaker C: Yeah. So if I go fast, and who cares about the bonus?
Do you think Tank would think that if I go fast, I can possibly get the xenomorphs out of the ship?
[00:43:40] Speaker B: If you go fast, there's a possibility of getting the xenomorphs out of the ship, losing your other passengers and damaging the crapper worse than it is.
[00:43:50] Speaker C: Okay. Is talking a free action?
I'm just going to yell over the thing. If you can understand me, put your seatbelt on, and I'm just going to punch it. I'm going to go fast.
It's a wash.
[00:44:08] Speaker B: Go ahead.
[00:44:10] Speaker C: Because I got another stunt from the last one.
[00:44:14] Speaker B: Right.
[00:44:15] Speaker C: So can I still do a plus one or would it be okay, sorry. What were we going to say?
[00:44:22] Speaker B: Oh, I was going to say everyone who's in the hold, I will let you use a reaction if you have anything left on this round, if you have any things left, any actions left on this round, you can use a reaction to try to grab hold of something.
[00:44:37] Speaker F: I do.
I don't. I don't know.
[00:44:40] Speaker B: Did you go before tank?
[00:44:42] Speaker F: I went before Tank, yeah.
I'm in the front.
[00:44:45] Speaker B: So did Cosmo. None of you can hold on to anything.
[00:44:48] Speaker F: Yeah.
[00:44:49] Speaker B: It's going to be down to a dice roll for all of you, then.
[00:44:53] Speaker I: Oh, no, that's been going for me.
[00:44:58] Speaker B: The cat might be getting the home alone scenario might be happening. A bonus one on one, Patreon. Only one shot. Cosmo versus the xenomorph factory.
[00:45:13] Speaker C: What's going to be even funnier is that it's going to be Cosmo and then your straight guest that's on the show survive. It's incredible.
[00:45:24] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:45:25] Speaker B: Incredible.
So I'll do the hold check first, and then I'll have you do your piloting check. So for hanging on for dear life, I guess, stamina, probably. Or I'll let you do mobility or stamina for the people in the hold who have to roll, I'll let you pick.
Bugsley's gonna push you. Did you get so many sixes? It's okay. Bugsley goes out with you.
[00:46:04] Speaker I: Oh, Vodaka.
[00:46:08] Speaker B: Bugsley goes out. Cosmo goes out. Xenomorph.
[00:46:13] Speaker G: My corpse goes out.
[00:46:17] Speaker I: Oh, yippee.
[00:46:19] Speaker E: Lands next to Martin.
[00:46:20] Speaker B: Xenomorph stays. What a jerk.
But wait, let me roll for the other xenomorph.
It's hanging on by a thread, but it's technically also still there. It's just not in the hold anymore. It's just clinging to the side.
However, we might be able to change that. Matilda, how did you do? Are you still here?
[00:46:43] Speaker F: I would hope so. With four successes.
[00:46:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Your cat goes flying out the back. You see the other person, the only other survivor here, go flying out the back. The xenomorph digs in, claws, hangs on tight. The xenomorph you were fighting disappears from view. But you kind of hear the claw scraping along the outside. Now I need that piloting check. Tank, this might change things about this scenario that just happened.
[00:47:10] Speaker C: Okay, so I got two successes.
[00:47:12] Speaker B: Okay, what are your stunt options?
[00:47:18] Speaker C: I think it's show off and save it.
[00:47:23] Speaker B: I will let you choose which one you want. If you choose show off, you're going to get a couple of choices.
[00:47:33] Speaker C: Okay. Show off is what I wanted to do because I think since I'm successfully getting out of here, it's going to be like spins in a similar fashion of how he landed, where he was coming in, but he was horizontal and doing all this fancy shit. He's doing this very Nintendo 64 Starfox barrel rolls, spinning out of this space and is just going to punch it through the opening.
[00:48:02] Speaker B: Awesome.
So in addition to showing off, or as part of your showing off, rather, I will let you choose to lose one xenomorph or save one passenger who fell out.
Lose the xenomorph. You can't save the corpse, but you could save Bugsley, your captain, the cat, who you haven't really met. Or you could lose one of the two xenomorphs.
[00:48:30] Speaker C: I don't think. Because throughout this time, Tank hasn't looked back. The information tank has is what Mercy told him about. There are xenomorphs on the ship.
He gave his warning of, put your seatbelt on, and then punched it. I don't think he knows who exactly is on the ship. And so I'm going to say lose a xenomorph.
[00:48:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:48:59] Speaker F: Please be the fucking back one that I'm stuck with.
[00:49:02] Speaker B: You want the one? I guess you wouldn't know. So you know what? I'll roll for it randomly. Evens. It's in the hold ods. It's on the side.
That's a three. So the one on the side is gone.
[00:49:14] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:49:16] Speaker B: The hold is still open. The ship is leaving.
Well, it's pretty much gone at this point.
Where are we? Langley is dead.
That one is on the ground with not all corpses, so it's actually gonna. That one. So interesting. Okay, so the one on the hold is actually gonna attack the tilde. Sorry about that.
Well, this is going to be awkward.
[00:49:46] Speaker C: Mind you, we're hanging upside down.
[00:49:51] Speaker F: I want you to know I'm also still towards the back, so feel free to miss me and hit mercy in the face.
[00:49:57] Speaker C: Mercy's behind a locked door or a closed door.
[00:50:00] Speaker F: The xenomorph can go through it. I think they've already proven.
[00:50:03] Speaker B: So they can totally, as a matter of fact, as it tumbles through the air like a cat and does that twisting thing that cats do to always land on their feet and grabs Matilda. It does one damage to you, and then it just barrels through the door into the cockpit.
Because I rolled. Deadly grab. So it launches through the air, grabs its victim, hits it with damage, then immediately drags them into a neighboring zone. The only neighboring zone right now is the cockpit.
You are now prone. You drop anything you're holding, you have to make an immediate panic roll. I'm going to make.
Sorry, take more stress from this situation.
What'd you get, Matilda?
[00:50:52] Speaker F: I freeze.
[00:50:53] Speaker B: That's fair.
[00:50:54] Speaker F: Yeah, I'm grabbed.
And the stress level of all friendly pieces in the short range of you increases by one. So that's all of you.
[00:51:03] Speaker B: Incredible mercy. How much stress do you have right now?
[00:51:07] Speaker H: After taking this one from Matilda, I will be at nine.
[00:51:13] Speaker B: Marvelous. So that's that which is going to bring us to Vesper. Doesn't matter what Vesper's doing, Dan. You're not dead.
Daniel, somehow, what do you want to do, man?
[00:51:28] Speaker D: So here's the thing is, however many sessions ago, I rolled to turn on the ship's computer while the console is upside down, and I got a stunt that said I don't have to roll to do that again.
I'm going to turn on the ship's computer because I'm pretty sure we still got, like, 50% engine power. So I'm going to start the Harris engines.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: Okay.
Excellent. Okay, great. Excellent. No, keep going. Yeah.
[00:51:59] Speaker D: And you said booting up, like starting engines, you said, that's a fast action. So I have a slow action left.
I don't know what I'm doing with it.
[00:52:09] Speaker B: You could do another fast action. You can either do two fast actions or one of each. Yeah.
[00:52:14] Speaker D: So here's the thing. I don't know what the Hera can do at this moment, so I think I'm actually just.
When I turn on the ship, is mother alive? Active? If I call out to mother.
[00:52:30] Speaker B: Yes. Hello, Daniel Strauss.
Okay.
[00:52:37] Speaker D: Your crew. The crew of the Hera is under attack by think. What can you do? What do we have? What do we have?
[00:52:44] Speaker B: We have thrusters. Daniel Strauss.
[00:52:50] Speaker D: That'S.
[00:52:54] Speaker A: Critical.
[00:52:55] Speaker B: Injury to the post deck of the deer. Of the. Of the. Of the. Of the Herac.
[00:53:01] Speaker D: You know what? Full power to thrusters.
[00:53:06] Speaker B: Incredible.
I'm going to make a couple of rolls real fast for our NPC friends who are perhaps in danger of death by incineration.
The nbcs. Jason Bugsley. Cosmo, you're fine. Jason and Bugsley see the Hera thruster suddenly start to kick up a notch. The on fire Hera, I should add. And they both instinctively roll as one out of the way as the thrusters just.
And this gouge of flame erupts across the two damorphs on the ground here, which scream and flee.
Miraculously, the hera boom. Slams into the wall ahead of you and starts breaking through it. And also, the way the rubble has crashed in, it bumps your nose up. The Hera is upside down. It has no windshield. Okay. You're standing on the ceiling, clinging to an upside down chair so you don't fall out. As the Hera starts to ramp up very slowly.
When you have those little RC trucks and they flip over and you're trying to ram them hard enough to flip it. That's what's happening right now.
We're not even going to bother with that xenomorph unless it's the one on the ship. It is not the one on the ship. That one is running for its life.
That brings us to round three.
[00:54:56] Speaker D: Just be clear, has Daniel officially killed the most xenomorphs?
[00:55:02] Speaker F: Yeah, two, because Darcy was one. I was one. You got two?
[00:55:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
Let's go.
[00:55:09] Speaker F: Dan from HR.
[00:55:14] Speaker I: Let's fucking go.
Dan's going to hot when you think about it.
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:55:19] Speaker C: Only because Dan is my arrival. I did scrape one off the ceiling.
[00:55:24] Speaker B: And I did throw another one off the.
[00:55:29] Speaker F: True. That's true, but Paris has to confirm they're dead. That's my issue.
[00:55:35] Speaker B: Well, all right, hold on. Let's find out for sure. How about it? I find out.
Let's see for sure.
So their armor versus fire is only two.
Oh, shit.
Thrusters sound like a ten dice situation.
Yeah. Ship thrusters 810, do you want to roll the damage or shall I?
[00:56:01] Speaker D: Yeah, I'll roll ten.
[00:56:03] Speaker B: D 610. D six. Tell me what you get. They all only have two armor.
[00:56:11] Speaker D: I'm going to take out some physical D sixes for this, because it feels like it's worth it.
[00:56:16] Speaker B: All right. They each rolled one armor, so that's going to negate one of your sixes that you get.
[00:56:22] Speaker D: I roll two sixes.
[00:56:24] Speaker I: Okay.
[00:56:25] Speaker B: They're not dead, but they are certainly hurt.
[00:56:30] Speaker D: On ten dice, I roll two sixes.
[00:56:32] Speaker G: Our luck does not.
[00:56:34] Speaker D: Our luck is.
[00:56:35] Speaker I: Oh, your luck, actually.
[00:56:36] Speaker B: You almost killed one of them. One of them was already damaged from Jason, and it's almost dead. It's on the brink of death.
Incredible. Dr. Fernandez, you have a problem.
[00:56:48] Speaker F: I have a problem. I can only use the fast action. I want to ask. Motherfucker. Bursted through. The doors are. Yes, yes.
[00:56:57] Speaker B: The cospect doors. Yes. But the doors technically would close. Oh, I didn't move this guy. Sorry. We have. Here we go.
[00:57:04] Speaker F: Yeah, I'll just squeeze you all in here, all in the cockpit.
[00:57:10] Speaker B: It's cozy.
[00:57:11] Speaker F: I could only use a fast action. That's literally all I got.
And I am grappled.
No, not anymore.
[00:57:21] Speaker B: I don't believe so. You've got grabbed and dropped. You're grown. But you just got dropped.
[00:57:27] Speaker F: Okay.
The only thing I can do is run.
[00:57:30] Speaker B: I see it.
[00:57:32] Speaker F: There's not much. We're like 10ft plus in the air, correct?
[00:57:37] Speaker B: More than that now. More than that. Facility.
[00:57:40] Speaker F: Technically, out of the facility. Okay, do I see my cutting torches anywhere? I've dropped one. The other was already dropped in the.
[00:57:53] Speaker B: There is a bolt gun, courtesy of Cosmo.
I don't know if you know it's courtesy of Cosmo, but it's just because of Cosmo that there's a bulk gun right by your hand.
[00:58:04] Speaker F: Is there a way to prepare an action?
[00:58:06] Speaker B: Yeah, totally.
[00:58:09] Speaker F: If the xenomorph tries to hit me, I'd like to dodge.
[00:58:12] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah.
[00:58:15] Speaker F: That's all I got.
[00:58:18] Speaker B: So, mercy, it is your turn.
Because Martin is dead. Right.
There's a xenomorph in the cockpit. Matilda's on the ground. Tank is flying incredibly well.
You're strapped into a.
Um. I think Navarro said that the ship is like, doing barrel, so that's cool. You're also pulling G forces.
[00:58:45] Speaker H: Okay, so if I don't act, then I theoretically have two reactions. Is that true?
[00:58:51] Speaker B: Yeah, more or less.
[00:58:52] Speaker H: And is there a maximum number of stress I can take?
[00:58:56] Speaker B: I don't think so. Okay, great.
[00:58:58] Speaker H: I am just holding on for dear life. I am holding both my actions.
[00:59:02] Speaker B: Okay, wonderful.
That doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. Cool. So that's going to bring us to. I did promise you something bad would happen on round three. This is our third round. It's time for the bad thing to happen.
The xenomorph queen steps into the space in all of her glory.
[00:59:40] Speaker F: Oh, I don't like that. How that appeared.
[00:59:44] Speaker B: And that is where we are going to end it tonight.
[00:59:49] Speaker F: She also child support me.
[00:59:50] Speaker I: I'm just a little guy.
[00:59:52] Speaker B: Thank you for joining us in the nightmare of my imagination. It could have been worse.
It was still pretty bad.
[01:00:04] Speaker G: I think that flying the ship into this situation was the bad choice.
[01:00:11] Speaker B: I disagree.
Honestly.
[01:00:15] Speaker C: We're flying out.
[01:00:17] Speaker B: I have been your gay mother. We have been gobbles and gays. You can find us at goblins and gays all across the Internet, including twitch. Keep an eye on everything.
Everything. Mother is waiting. Mother is ready. Mother is here.
Say goodbye, my wonderful, wonderful, doomed crew.
[01:00:36] Speaker A: Goodbye forever. Bye.
I'm not leave you here lonely.
Never may I leave here alive.
You don't own me.
May I, may I, may I, may I. May I go home?
Close?
