Never Stop Blowing Up: Cold Day in Hell (Holiday Special)

[00:00:30] Speaker A: What's up? We're here at Goblins and Gays Presents. Never stop Blowing up. Cold Day in hell. This is going to be a high octane, action packed, sexy, hot, rated R show. Just a little thing to get, you know, so you're ready for all this. Explosions in your face. Sex, drugs, Boo. News. Action. Violence, gratuitous violence. All this stuff gonna be in this episode. You'll hear from our cast in just a second. I am your MC Dusty. I use they he pronouns. Get ready for a wild time. We're gonna start at an idyllic scene, actually. It's snowing. It seems to be early to mid December. We see a quaint town, like pine trees lining the roads. Snow. We see some birds going onto a road under the moonlight. And all the birds fly away as 1018 wheelers going 80 miles an hour start driving down the freeway into the epicenter of this town. A blemish on the state of Michigan, but a beauty in the city of hell. You see the hotel, which is, we're taking place tonight, the Nine Rings. A hotel with 10 pools, 15 hot tubs. Nine levels. 10 if you count the basement. And there is the biggest party of the year, run by one entrepreneur, one person that has everyone in their deep, deep pockets. Vittorio Iron Teeth Cruise. And we see the camera going through the entrance. People drinking, people laughing, people being raucous. All through the levels. We see everyone just having the time of their life. This is a party to both raise money for all the corporations that Iron Teeth owns. But also under the guise of charity. We are going to go and start off. We're gonna go camera pan through into the third level as we see two drinks being filled with glass and then some dark brown liquid, liquid gold of whiskey. As we see the ass room of this hotel. And we see one hand, Dr. Hannah west and Kestrel Kevlar, enjoying a drink as scantily crab people of all genders are there without handing out drinks. How are you two enjoying this night? [00:03:07] Speaker B: Well, there's certainly more scantily clad people than I thought initially. Not that I'm against it, but it was a surprise. [00:03:19] Speaker C: Before you can take a sip of your drink, Kestrel has taken it from your hands, taken a sip of it herself, weighted, and then hands it back to you. [00:03:32] Speaker A: Please get a description of Kestrel Kevlar and Dr. Hannah west, please. [00:03:39] Speaker C: I'll let you go first. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Hey. I am a woman in my early 30s. I have this sort of long flowing blonde hair that sort of goes down past my shoulders. I'm Wearing a. A very, very well, well tailored suit, you know, with a very nice pair of heels and on as to accessorize with everything. I have a pair of glasses with red lenses as I'm sort of looking around and smiling at my bodyguard. [00:04:19] Speaker C: Yes, Kestrel. Kevlar, 6'Two without heels, arms that could crush a watermelon, and thighs to match. She has auburn hair that normally falls a little past her shoulders, but is currently up in a very like gay little bun with like the shaved sides and back. Everything about her, from her posture to her glare to the head on a swivel screams professional bodyguard. Except for the very long slinky chainmail gown she is wearing. Like Zendaya's Joan of Arc, but like way more revealing. It is sleeveless, it is backless. There is a slit up to the side. There is a neckline all the way down, way past, way past the neck. It would probably be annoying, but the neckline, if you can actually call it that, when it's almost to the navel, is a good distraction from the pistol hidden holstered to one thigh, or the knives hidden in her heels, or the spike hidden in her enormous ring, or the second smaller gun hidden in her hair. And she is always about half a step behind or beside Dr. West at all times. [00:05:23] Speaker B: Yeah, Dr. West is very distracted. [00:05:30] Speaker A: As you two are both enjoying drinks. Dr. Hannah west, you see an unfortunate, unfortunately familiar face as a person as equally confused by all the ass in this room kind of toughs their dirty blonde hair. You see Dr. Dan Halsey with a similar glass just looking at YouTube. Well, are you two enjoying. Did you know there was going to be an ass room? [00:06:09] Speaker B: No, that is a bit of a surprise to me. But we are certainly enjoying ourselves, aren't we dear? [00:06:18] Speaker C: Kestrel just glares at him, says nothing. [00:06:23] Speaker A: They look at you, just. Well, they're gonna now point at the wrist. Would you see they have kind of like a golden bracelet on and they're gonna point at you two, which each have a red bracelet on. It's like, do you know why they gave these to us? I thought it was an admission, but I see people have different colors. [00:06:42] Speaker B: I'm sure we're learn eventually whatever this is about, but well, certainly not gonna be a boring party. I'm doing my best. I've got my best professional smile on my face as I look at this person. [00:06:57] Speaker A: You see this person has 100% broken eye contact and is just staring head visibly moving at the person walking behind you. [00:07:06] Speaker C: Does Dr. West look like she wants this guy to leave her alone. [00:07:11] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:13] Speaker C: Then Kestrel is going to stand up, stand over him very threateningly and I guess also very sexily and just be like, move along. [00:07:26] Speaker A: I'll be sure to catch up with YouTube later tonight. [00:07:30] Speaker C: Better not. [00:07:31] Speaker A: No, don't you worry. They're gonna walk away sipping their drink, and the camera is going to zoom in onto the drink as the clinking glass and the ice goes down. And we're gonna cut to a similar clinking of glasses. But it's multiple now as now it's suddenly raucous and people yelling, people screaming, people cheering. And we see the two biggest arms you've ever seen, currently arm wrestling. And one person, dark skin, bald head, tank top, frizzled, big eyebrows, looking at you. Dutch McCock. How are you doing this evening? [00:08:18] Speaker D: In the adjudication room, Desmond Cox doing great. Muscles in his muscles. You see this burly, huge guy. Imagine Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist with, like, a blonde horseshoe mustache. He's got a bandana over his head with the American flag on it. Dressed head to toe in greens and earthy colors. He's got camo pants, combat boots, a dark green tank top. And you know, this is a formal event, so the most formal that Dutch will get, he's got a little red tie hanging around his neck with this outfit. You see, as he's locked arms with this fellow over here, you see bulging on his arm, a tattoo. It's a heart wreathed in flame that says mom on it. Who am I? Who am I arm wrestling with? [00:09:16] Speaker A: Oh, you're arm wrestling with Brother John. [00:09:20] Speaker D: Yeah, as we lock arms. [00:09:22] Speaker E: Let's go, brother. [00:09:26] Speaker A: You ain't even see the best of it yet, son. That's actually. You know what? Let's do the first roll of the game. Let's roll to. All right. The D.C. you gotta beat is gonna be three. [00:09:42] Speaker D: All right, let's see. That's only a two. [00:09:46] Speaker A: Oh, so we are doing a one shot. You do get turbo tokens. Start at the start. You know what is. [00:09:52] Speaker D: It meets, it beats. [00:09:52] Speaker A: It meets, it beats. If you go to a four, you do explode. I don't know if you want to use them right now, but you know what? [00:10:00] Speaker D: It's a one shot. Let's use them right now. [00:10:02] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:10:03] Speaker D: Turbo tokens. My muscles bulge and. And my veins get extra thick as I put all my weight into this. This arm wrestling. [00:10:14] Speaker A: So when you explode, you roll the next dice in line. Yes. So you're now gonna be rolling a D6 for all your tough. [00:10:22] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. All right, I'm gonna D6. That's a four plus five. That's at nine. [00:10:30] Speaker A: Nine. You definitely beat this by more than five. So as you're doing you, you're saying this. You slam your fist down so hard, Brother John goes through the table. [00:10:42] Speaker D: As I slam it down, I'm just. [00:10:43] Speaker E: Like, what you expect, brother? I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm actually allergic to one of the active ingredients in most mainstream gums. So we're gonna have to go with the first option. [00:10:55] Speaker D: That's my catchphrase. Do I get turbotogets? [00:11:00] Speaker A: You get a turbotogen for using your catchphrase, which is just a me rule. [00:11:04] Speaker D: Damn. I got to use that as much as possible, brother. [00:11:08] Speaker A: Ch. On the floor. Hell yeah. You know, that's why we don't keep them in the Church of Satan. [00:11:16] Speaker E: That's right, brother. [00:11:19] Speaker A: And people are like, now, like, cheering and yelling. And you see some of these hosts, which are all like, all in judge attire in this room, going around passing out beers. Some of them have champagne flutes, but most of them, it's just about all this. And as you reach out to help him up again. Big burly man, big burly arms. He's gonna look at you again. It's like, hey, you know what? We got these red bracelets on. [00:11:50] Speaker E: No idea. I thought it was a decorative thing. [00:11:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:54] Speaker E: Goes well with my outfit here. [00:11:56] Speaker A: Yeah, but look at these. That one's got blue, green, gold. Huh. [00:12:04] Speaker E: Well, now that you mention it, I didn't notice. It looks pretty darn cute with these bracelets, you know? [00:12:13] Speaker A: You know, I was gonna say the same thing. Hell yeah. [00:12:18] Speaker D: You want me to do another? [00:12:20] Speaker A: Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna see the camera kind of snaps at the clasp of the arms, and we're gonna be going to Ruby Valentine. Ruby Valentine. We see you talking to many, many people kind of in a close circle as you are both trying to enjoy your drinks as well as hear each other of both the heavy machinery and the yelling of bobcats. Both the actual cats that are kind of just running around freely and the machines that are moving furniture around as they please. [00:13:03] Speaker F: Interior, this room, but in the pool. The camera pants as I get. As I walk down the pool steps, my ass in frame, perfect, buoyant, if you will, as I get into the pool. Because I was out of the pool in a very sheer shawl, bikini lined, also very red. What else is red? My bright red ruby lipstick. I have a sharp, expensive, platinum colored bob haircut. Going on. My skin is brown in some lighting and my eyes are probably hazel and I am so hot. I look. Oh, am I Asian? Am I latina? Am I something else? Who knows? I just know that I am the most exotic thing here. Minus the bobcats actually if we're like in specific areas, those are locals. But you know what isn't local? Me. [00:14:14] Speaker A: As you slide on into the pool, it's actually a hot tub in this room. And you get comfortable. One of the bobcats actually just slides up and sits next to you. And someone you know from across the room. They're wearing both like loose fancy looking pants, wearing a blazer. You see that their skin is maybe that of a well tanned person. They have kind of poofy hair and glasses. You know them as your long time will they, won't they? We're still friends though. And goes events, Kev. And they look at you, Ruby. Can you believe this? They just let me on the machine. [00:14:58] Speaker F: Wow. Tell me more. And I lean over and perk my boobs up so that way you can tell that they're probably over a D cup. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Like I don't even know how to work this thing. And you see them going, oh. And they drive through the wall. The bobcats now set a free into the rest of the hotel. [00:15:22] Speaker F: I don't do anything about that because it's not my hotel and not the reason why I'm here. I'm gonna turn back to the people who came here to see me and just kind of like sit back, enjoy the conversation. It's probably vapid, but not as vapid as what I'm about to do. [00:15:45] Speaker A: And they, they all look and say, what a riot. Could you believe that? You know, let's take a toast. And they're all. Some of them joined you in the jacuzzi. Some of them didn't take off their suits because they have fast drying soups. They're going to hold a champagne glass. And you notice that everyone's braces are a different color than yours. And they say to Vittorio. [00:16:13] Speaker F: To Victorio. And just, you know, like we, we, we clack in the glasses and stuff. What am I drinking? The strongest martini known to men. There's a bullet casing in there. [00:16:27] Speaker A: It's called nine millimeter teeny. And you both down your drink and we're gonna take a view from the upside down glass. And we're gonna see a room where we find one. Bunny bell. Bunny bell, you are here having no really great dinner with your. You've learned to just kind of Call them your dates, even though they're really your employer. You're enjoying some great biryani, the chicken biryani, some chicken tikka masala, some fried chicken, some chicken burgers. As you are in the chicken ring, squawking all around you as well. Very fresh. [00:17:20] Speaker G: Yeah. We see Bunny Bell, who's a pretty little 29 year old woman. Just don't go asking how long she's been 29. She has this absolutely fried platinum blonde hair that is pulled into an elaborate updo. She's wearing this like fur lined red mini dress and white go go boots. It's a fundraiser in winter, so she had kind of assumed it would be Christmas themed, which doesn't quite seem to be the case, but that's okay. And we can see her, you know, she has a plate piled with food and she goes to another different food table, grabs all the tuna she can. You know, it's the chicken of the sea. And she just subtly grabs a tray and just slides that on into the giant white fuzzy purse that is hanging off of her arm. And as she does so, we can see an enormous white engagement ring flashing on the left ring finger. [00:18:20] Speaker A: As you're sliding this tray in, you feel someone coming closer to you. You know them as Jolee, the person that hired you here tonight. And just. Are you really digging the tray right now? [00:18:34] Speaker G: I'm a professional, darlin. Don't worry about it. I really just want the tuna, but, you know, don't want my purse to get dirty. [00:18:43] Speaker A: Just look. [00:18:43] Speaker G: Hey. [00:18:44] Speaker A: Okay, these are. These are some of my employees. Co workers, you know, make a scene here and they shove like a glass into your head and go like, oh, Bunny, you're hilarious. [00:19:00] Speaker G: And Bunny sort of throws her head back. [00:19:05] Speaker A: Thank you, thank you. [00:19:07] Speaker G: I know. And she is waving that left hand so dramatically trying to catch everyone's eye on this horrible, gaudy ring. [00:19:18] Speaker A: Some of these people go up there. They seem to be a mix between like business casual to like full on, like business attire. One of them has a briefcase on them. One of them also didn't get that this is a Christmas themed one. So they have an elf hat and like a vest with like the tinsel on it that's a little too tight. And. And one of them goes, oh, Jolie, is that. Is that they're gonna point at your hand. She didn't tell us. Oh, it slipped my mind. You know, they're gonna put their arm around you, Bunny. It's like when you find someone as incredible as Bunny, you know, you know what they Say, you got to put a ring on it. [00:20:06] Speaker G: Jolie here is being modest. We, you know, this ring is just a placeholder. We're really. We're here to. Not to get approval from her family, to get her mom's ring. [00:20:18] Speaker A: Yes, yes, of course. And they're going to start playing with the bracelet that's on their wrist, which is actually red, just as yours. And it's like, well, yeah, that should be great. That should be great. You know? You know, you know, we're personal guests of Vittorio, so should be great, should be fine, should be lovely. They. They kind of look off in the distance and down their champagne glass. And as that glass comes down from her lips, you see that there is on the walls of every room that everyone's in. And over the speakers you hear a voice and saying, welcome to the holiday party, everybody. I am Vittorio. I'm so glad everyone here could make it. Please, if everyone could go to the grand hall on the first floor. We about to have a speech to get everyone ready for the actual event. [00:21:32] Speaker G: Bunny, I think, sort of looks to the only other person who is dressed in Christmas attire and sort of, you know, jovially like slaps her hand against their shoulder and says, see, now it is a holiday party. All these people, they just didn't dress on theme. [00:21:50] Speaker A: That's what I thought, right. Like, sorry, you know, I heard that was a Christmas party, so I thought I had to be making no Christmas. Oh, you should get to the first floor. And everyone in your rooms get this announcement as everyone kind of congregates down to this first floor, which this floor is the ground floor. The only theme is money. And by money, Vittorio's money, you see that there's people that have been kind of walking around with like business cards, ones that where you scan it immediately takes a hundred dollars from your account town to go into a charity kind of asking for donations. You see some buff people kind of just like standing at guard ready, like to see if anyone tries to take any of the money for themselves. But you all congregate. Hundreds of people in this beautiful lounge. Marble. You see the far end. And also on TVs and screens all above you, all around amongst pillars and fountains. This room, this hotel is probably the biggest building in hell, Michigan, where you are all are. And Vittorio and elderish person, they have the like salt and pepper hair, more salt and pepper that's kind of slicked back, but still has much volume. They're wearing what must be a satin or maybe even velvet robe. They carry a cane that goes up to their chest, that has the handle is actually in the shape of a shark. And they're standing at top and looking all of you. I'm so, so glad everyone here can make. Make it. You know, we do one of these events every year and we raise so much money and give some of that to charity every year. And it makes everyone better for us. You know, tax write offs. You help the hungry, you hide the poor, all this beautiful things. And I'm getting up in age and I thought we should make one of these a bit more exciting. And as they say that you all hear numerous sounds of gates, metal gates falling down into place, sounds of pedestals coming off from the ground. And these pedestals seem to actually be carrying cases for weapons. One pops up right next to you, Kevlar. And you see that there's a mace, there's a sphere, there's a. There's just like tons of stuff. And Vittorio continues. Well, every one of you has gotten an invitational bracelet. Well, I'm going to the penthouse on the ninth floor. If any of you can make it by, they're going to kind of tap the cane onto the ground. And every single one of yours and every single person's in this thing, their bracelet numbers pop up, kind of going around. That says 3, 0, 0 and it goes down to 259. And then seconds start going down. You've got three hours. Everyone who either makes it up there or, you know, kills everyone else here. You'll get my fortune. You all get bonus points too, if you find anyone with a red bracelet. I hope you all have fun. And they step back, followed by six incredibly large bodyguards to elevator. The elevator not blocked off chimes and there's stunned silence for a moment. [00:26:25] Speaker C: And then I'd like to immediately remove Dr. West's bracelet because it's red. [00:26:31] Speaker B: Yours is red too. [00:26:33] Speaker C: I don't care about that. That's not my job. [00:26:37] Speaker A: Okay? Chaos erupts as you try doing this. Kev, give me, give me, give me a brawl. [00:26:47] Speaker F: Brawl. [00:26:50] Speaker A: And Dr. Hannah west give me a tough, please. [00:26:52] Speaker F: Okay, I got a four. [00:26:56] Speaker C: It blows up. I got a one. So it's five. [00:27:00] Speaker A: Five. [00:27:00] Speaker B: Okay, I got a one. [00:27:02] Speaker A: Great. Dr. Hannah west take Turbo token. Kevlar. Kev. I didn't realize the name someone else. Kev, that's fine. [00:27:15] Speaker C: That's okay. You can go with Kes if that's easier. [00:27:18] Speaker G: Kestrel. Cass. [00:27:20] Speaker A: Kev, there's two cabs. That's fine. [00:27:22] Speaker C: There's two cabs. Now this one is gonna have to Change. And it won't be me. [00:27:27] Speaker A: You start. You start trying to take this off, and you realize that not. It's, like, made of tougher materials than you expected, but also spikes go into Dr. Hanawitz's skin as it tries to pull it off enough where you hurt them, but not enough to, like, actually do physical damage. [00:27:47] Speaker B: That's unfortunate. [00:27:52] Speaker C: Okay, then. You're wearing. [00:27:56] Speaker B: I'm just gonna pull. Yeah, No, I probably have my sleeves rolled up, so I'm just immediately going to start pulling, like, rebuttoning the sleeves around my wrists. [00:28:07] Speaker A: Yeah. And in the time that you two have taken to look at that, you start hearing yelling and screaming and gunshots going off as hundreds of people are all trying to either get to an elevator or take out anyone in their way. [00:28:22] Speaker C: Dr. West, I suggest we leave the room immediately, go find. [00:28:27] Speaker B: Yes, your suggestion is noted. And, yes, we will do that. [00:28:32] Speaker A: We'll get to you, too. You too, in a second. Dutch. Macaque. How. What are you doing in this moment as you and Brother John are both here, seeing that Brother John already punching people out as they try to approach you, it's really hard for you to hide your red bracelets. [00:28:50] Speaker D: I look down at the red bracelet, I look over at Brother John. [00:28:53] Speaker E: Oh, fuck, yeah, brother. Looks like these bracelets were an invitation for a good time. [00:28:59] Speaker D: And I'm gonna grab two of the champagne bottles nearby, toss one of them to Brother John, shake mine up, and point it towards the nearest person to me. [00:29:10] Speaker A: Brother John's like, fuck yeah, brother. Go ahead and give me a weapons roll. [00:29:17] Speaker D: Weapons roll. All right, just a four right now. Let's see. Oh, blows up nice. That's a. That's a. That's a. [00:29:26] Speaker A: So four. [00:29:27] Speaker D: I'm now at a six. Just a one. [00:29:32] Speaker A: So five. Five. Yeah. You go ahead and do this, and the person that's, like, running towards you, the cork pops out, hits them square into the head, and they get knocked back into someone. Someone was actually running behind them with a machete, and they get impaled, and. And then Brother John's like, let's fucking party. And they're going to slam the champagne bottle into just the nearest person as well. And they're just like, got to get to the elevator, brother. [00:29:59] Speaker D: Yeah, Wherever the closest elevator is, I will dash towards that as fast as possible. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Yeah, you see, it's towards the end of the hall. All the elevators seem to be open, which is great. [00:30:09] Speaker D: Are there stairs? [00:30:13] Speaker A: Why don't you roll me a whips? Check. [00:30:16] Speaker D: Let's check. [00:30:18] Speaker A: D.C. is gonna be five just a two. A two. All right. Take a turbo token. Amidst all the chaos, it's really hard. [00:30:27] Speaker D: To see any because I have relentless. [00:30:31] Speaker A: Oh, nice, nice. Yes. But you two are fighting your way, punching through, throwing people to the front. Ruby Valentine, amidst all this, you see people are going wild. You have people looking all around you. You thought they were just looking at you because you're beautiful and how could they not look at you? But you see all their eyes not looking at your tits. They're actually looking at your wrist. [00:31:00] Speaker F: No, they're looking at my tits because, you see, I put my wristband, tied it around my little. Like my bikini strap, and I look at them. I take a long drink, and by a long drink. May I just down it, grab that bullet, pop it into my hand. My breasts, they tell me that I am in danger, but my gun tells me that the danger is me. So I look at them, I pull out my gun that has been nestled in between my butt cheeks this whole time. I put the bullet casing in it. [00:31:38] Speaker A: People around you are just like, put. [00:31:41] Speaker F: The bullet, slide that in, lock it in. And I just go. Consider this a warning shot. [00:31:48] Speaker A: Leave Turbo token. [00:31:51] Speaker F: Thank you. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Two people. Two people leave immediately. Because what a spectacle. Person pulls out the gun from their ass. Letterproof is like they. They spot your wrist. When they're like, they're gonna charge at you, I assume you're going to blast them. So go ahead and roll me that. Weapons check. [00:32:13] Speaker F: Weapons check. What is. Oh, yeah. D4. [00:32:15] Speaker A: Yeah, everything is going to start with D4. [00:32:18] Speaker F: Yeah. Yeah, let's. Yeah. Well, okay, wait, how do. I have a question. What. What are the tokens for again? [00:32:27] Speaker A: So tokens could be exchanged one for one to boost your number. So if you have a three, you could bump it up to a four and explode. A one, two, three. Etc. You start off with, you have three now. You started off with two. [00:32:37] Speaker F: I have three now. Yes. [00:32:38] Speaker A: Okay. [00:32:39] Speaker F: Okay, thank you. I just wanted to double check that four. [00:32:44] Speaker A: So did you roll a four on before? [00:32:46] Speaker F: I rolled a four on D4. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Roll again. [00:32:49] Speaker F: Right. [00:32:49] Speaker A: You roll a D6. [00:32:50] Speaker F: Roll a D6. Okay. [00:32:52] Speaker A: Yeah. And then your. Your weapons is at a D6. Now until you expose. [00:32:57] Speaker F: I'm gonna use one of those tokens because I rolled a five and now I have a six. [00:33:01] Speaker A: Double explosion, baby. You're so that's 10. You're at. [00:33:08] Speaker D: Never stop blowing up. [00:33:12] Speaker F: Oh, that was so close. And six on the D8. [00:33:15] Speaker A: So 16. The DC was nine. So you actually go ahead and take out multiple people as they run towards You, They. They start running, and it's like, without even thinking, just these people just go down on the ground. And you're left with a small window open. You see some people look at you, see the gun, see the way, see the rest, see the dead people start running away. And you see amidst all the chaos in front of you, hundreds of people, blood flying everywhere. You see elevator doors at the end with some big burly man with big burly arms running towards it. [00:33:51] Speaker F: Amidst this shootout, I have pull. Maybe I shot. I shot a woman. Then I pulled off, like, a jacket that she was wearing. Then I shot a man. And now somehow I'm wearing his perfectly fitted pants that perfectly fit my body. Just, you know, suction cup. I am still wearing that red bikini top because, oh, no, no shirts. Not a single shirt. [00:34:19] Speaker A: No shirts, no shirts. They're all gone. You actually blew the shirts right off. [00:34:26] Speaker F: But, oh, no, there's no button on this jacket. I guess my toots are out. And I go, and I'm gonna hold this gun with me. And as I, like, make it to the elevator with the big burly man, I'm going to, like, slip one of my acrylic fingernails into my hair. Boom. [00:34:47] Speaker G: Pull it off. [00:34:48] Speaker F: New wig. I'm no longer the plait, the sharp plaid, platinum, silver, like, bob cut. No, no, no, no, no. Now I have long, somehow perfect ruby red hair. It's nice long. I put it in a high ponytail because I always carry ponytails now. But. But. But I leave just a fat chunk of hair out, enough that if somebody were to imitate my look in real life, it'll get in the way of your vision. But for this piece, nah, nah, it's perfect. Anime way, almost. You know, I got 2020 vision off another corpse. I pull out sunglasses. Boom. No longer 2020 vision, because I'm wearing sunglasses indoors. But you know what? I don't need that. And I'm just gonna go look at the burly man. And I'm assuming the burly man is Dutch in my cock. [00:35:49] Speaker A: Just Dutch. Not dutching, but we'll get there. [00:35:51] Speaker F: I know. No, I know. I just wanted for the me. [00:35:54] Speaker A: Bunny Bell, you were in the middle of making sure your tuna is okay, and suddenly chaos erupts. And you turn to your side. You see Jolie nowhere to be seen. But some people are running. People are fighting. And then some people, they see your wristband, and they're going to start running at you. One has, like, a baseball bat that they picked up. One has just a champagne glass, not broken. They Just have champagne glass. [00:36:31] Speaker G: I am going to reach into my purse and grab that tray, leave the tuna inside the back and use the tray as, like, a shield and try to disarm one of them or both of them. [00:36:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Why don't you give me a Brawl? [00:36:47] Speaker G: That's a one. It's damn real. Silver's too soft. [00:36:53] Speaker A: I'll let you know for this one shot. You did all get a suite. You do have the ones so you could right now. I'll let you know for the dc. I rolled a six. [00:37:07] Speaker G: No, I fail. I take two Turbo tokens because I also have. Relentless. [00:37:11] Speaker A: Relentless. Great. You fail. So as you try to block them with the shield, this person with the baseball bat just swings the bat right through this tray and gets you right across the face. You are going to get a superficial point of damage because you go 45, and you're going to say, like, I don't know who you are, but I, I. They have so much money. [00:37:34] Speaker G: You couldn't hit me across the wrist. Come on. You just need the bracelet, right? [00:37:40] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't even work here. I just want money. And they're gonna swing at you again with the baseball bat. Roll tough for me, please. He sees a two. [00:37:57] Speaker G: I got a two. [00:37:59] Speaker A: Nice. They. They swing the bat at you, and you're actually able to just catch it mid swing and rip it from their arms. And now you have the baseball bat and just like. Hey, hey, hey. [00:38:12] Speaker G: What color is their bracelet? [00:38:14] Speaker A: Gold. [00:38:15] Speaker G: Yeah, It'll stain red eventually. And Bunny's gonna try and hit them with the baseball bat. [00:38:21] Speaker A: Give me. I say weapon is good. Does you want to use Brawl? I think weapons is good. [00:38:28] Speaker G: That is a 2. [00:38:30] Speaker A: What's the DC5? [00:38:32] Speaker G: I will use two turbo tokens to blow up. [00:38:36] Speaker A: All right. Incredible. [00:38:39] Speaker G: That is another four. I will use two turbo tokens to blow up. [00:38:43] Speaker A: Let's go, let's go, Go. [00:38:48] Speaker G: And that is a five. So 15 total. [00:38:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that's definitely by more than five. You. Yeah, you make them wish they never even came here. One swing of this bad with your physique and they are out for the count. You definitely heard at least maybe, like, some teeth flying out and hitting some other people, which are now discussing, like, what do you mean? I have a molar in my arm? What? [00:39:15] Speaker G: Can I take their gold bracelet off? [00:39:19] Speaker A: Yeah, you could rip it off. You see the spikes come through, but they're dead. [00:39:26] Speaker G: So great. I would like to sort of COVID my red bracelet with their gold bracelet. [00:39:32] Speaker A: Dude, these are, like metal bracelets. [00:39:36] Speaker G: Does it have, like, can I, like, lock pick it to make it open? [00:39:42] Speaker A: You could try. There's still a lot of people looking at you. [00:39:47] Speaker G: That's fine. I'll get out of this room later. Okay, fine. I'll just take the bracelet and run to the bathroom. [00:39:54] Speaker A: Okay. All right, we're gonna come back to you in a second. Dr. Hannah west and Kestrel Kevlar. You two are trying to run. You both weaving in there on people. You get to the doors. You see the windows all shut with iron gates. [00:40:13] Speaker G: But we're. [00:40:14] Speaker B: Very important question. Sorry, a very important question. Are you pulling me along? [00:40:21] Speaker C: I'm doing whatever it takes to get you out of the room. I'm pulling you. I'm, like, grabbing you around the waist and hoisting you over like. Like vaulting you over a body. I'm rolling over someone's back. We had a moment of teamwork. I don't know who they are. They're dead now. It doesn't matter. I'm using trays to deflect bullets. Whatever it takes. So, yes, at some times. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm just wondering. [00:40:48] Speaker A: But, yeah, you get to Victoria's. This. This all. All this bullshit's happening on the bottom floor where you're at. So the doors are there, but there's still people also trying to get them open. You see some people have that, like, you assume had red bracelets because, like, you see streaks on their arm and they're gone. Yeah. And people are, like, looking around and either running towards an elevator or trying to hide somewhere, I guess. [00:41:21] Speaker B: I think our best bet might be to go up. [00:41:25] Speaker C: No, too many combatants to go up. [00:41:29] Speaker B: I certainly don't think we're going to stay here. [00:41:32] Speaker C: Obviously. I would like to try to scan for, like, a weakness in the. In the perimeter. [00:41:43] Speaker A: Yeah, give me Invit. Check DC3. [00:41:50] Speaker C: Blowing up again, baby. [00:41:52] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:41:54] Speaker C: Oh, wait, that did not even go in my tray. Another five. [00:41:59] Speaker A: Five, Great. So, yeah, you're kind of scanning through and you see that you're. You see people fighting sequel brawling. You saw someone get hit with a baseball bat. And then you see that there's actually where you heard gunshots coming from. From. You actually see a small party has gathered as someone wearing incredibly fitting jeans is running towards an elevator. [00:42:28] Speaker C: And that looks like it's the. The best route out of danger. [00:42:32] Speaker A: It's kind of like. It's like if you went to a concert and people have, like, kind of spread to one side as if they're getting ready for a wall of death, which you would do at a punk show or, like, metal show. Basically, like, the sea of people have been divided, and so if you run fast, people, maybe they won't notice your red bracelets. [00:42:54] Speaker C: Okay, I'm gonna hoist west over my shoulder and just book it. [00:42:58] Speaker B: I'm going to grab one of the guns and cover us. Could I get check the one in your hair? [00:43:06] Speaker C: All right. [00:43:08] Speaker B: If you're hoisting me over your shoulder, it's the closest. [00:43:10] Speaker C: No, that's fair. [00:43:12] Speaker A: Yeah. If you want, give me a stunts Check. And Dr. Hannah west, why don't you give me a weapons check just to make sure no one tries to hit you. [00:43:19] Speaker B: I'm a doctor, but I'm not defenseless. [00:43:22] Speaker A: Hey, Turbo token. [00:43:25] Speaker C: I got a three, but I can blow that up if I need to. [00:43:29] Speaker B: I also got a three, and I will spend a token to blow it up. [00:43:32] Speaker A: I see you see you're looking for was just a three. [00:43:41] Speaker C: Stunts. I'll blow it up because I want a D6 in this. [00:43:44] Speaker A: Okay? [00:43:45] Speaker B: Yeah. And I got a five on the dice. And you know what? It. I'm gonna spend another token to blow it up again. [00:43:56] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:43:57] Speaker C: I gotta realize I've done it wrong the last two times. I keep blowing up and then rerolling a 4 instead of rolling the next size. [00:44:06] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, you definitely want to roll the next one. [00:44:08] Speaker B: Whoops. I got a 7 on the D8. And you know what? Fuck it. Let's just keep going. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Let's go. Let's go. Blow it up. [00:44:15] Speaker F: Never stop. [00:44:18] Speaker A: Yeah. You. You. You are running through Kev. You're moving deftly. You are used to the sound of gunshots next to your ear as Dr. Hannah west has just pinpoint precision. [00:44:30] Speaker B: That's like a 20. [00:44:32] Speaker C: Never been more in love with 28. [00:44:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:35] Speaker B: And because I. I am inspiring, I will give Kestrel a Turbo token. [00:44:42] Speaker A: Let's go. Yeah. So you two are going through the. The gap has gotten only larger as people are just falling around, as this doctor is being fireman carried and just taking down people left and right. Even you're able to get the. The. The more ammo that's in. Let's just say, like, the back of your dress. [00:45:05] Speaker C: There is no back of the dress. [00:45:07] Speaker A: Oh, that's right. [00:45:08] Speaker B: Don't worry. I'm grabbing. I'm grabbing ammo from wherever. [00:45:14] Speaker C: And then occasionally, sometimes there's ammo in crevices. [00:45:19] Speaker B: I'm grabbing guns from people who are dying. [00:45:25] Speaker A: Just like grabbing as you're going. And four of you. Me at the elevator at the same time. Just confirm. Captions are right over your name. What is it? Bunny Bell. I said it, like, five times already. [00:45:39] Speaker G: Yes, that is me. [00:45:41] Speaker A: You are running towards a bathroom, correct? [00:45:44] Speaker G: That is correct. [00:45:45] Speaker A: Okay, great. We'll get to you in a second. As the rest of the group meets up in the elevator, two big, buff, burning men and a person who has just, like, a stunningly fitting outfit, but still all their tits are basically out. Or an elevator. And another person that is just the scrawniest dude you've seen. It looks like there basically looks like an outtake from the office where there's a business suit. Their. Their tie is, like, halfway undone. They're shakily holding a broken champagne glass and slamming on the number button as you go in. And they look at you like, okay, we're all red. Okay, great. And they're slamming the buttons like, it's not going up too. I'm trying to hit nine. It says it's only lighting up three. [00:46:29] Speaker C: Am I in this elevator? [00:46:30] Speaker A: Yes. [00:46:32] Speaker B: I'm still over your shoulder? [00:46:33] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Still over shoulder. Just gotta shove the guy against the wall. Very threatening at everybody else. Nobody here is trustworthy. What on earth? We are not relaxing until everyone's dead. [00:46:43] Speaker A: I don't want to die. I just. I. I'm just. I. I just do finances. [00:46:49] Speaker C: Do I look like a care? [00:46:52] Speaker A: Maybe. Is everyone a red bracelet in this elevator? Yes. [00:46:56] Speaker C: Fine. [00:46:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:58] Speaker D: I hold up my red bracelet. [00:47:01] Speaker E: Hey, there. Name's Dutch McCock. You can call me Dutch McCock. Looks like we're all on team good times. So allies. [00:47:10] Speaker C: Keep your hands to yourself if you don't want to lose your hands. [00:47:13] Speaker B: Anna West. A charm to Demetrius. I'm sure. [00:47:19] Speaker D: Since the elevator can't go up, are there, like, those, like, ceiling panel things that I can punch out? [00:47:28] Speaker A: It's going up, but it's only going up to floor three instead. [00:47:30] Speaker D: Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. [00:47:32] Speaker A: So you can attempt that. And, like, you could easily. [00:47:34] Speaker F: You're. [00:47:35] Speaker A: You're a big, buff man. You could, like, once it gets to floor three, the. This guy is, like, holding the door close button until, like, everything happens while being held against the wall. They just have their hand against the door close button, and they're like, I don't know if what's killing me on the other side of the door. [00:47:50] Speaker F: Could you let me go? [00:47:52] Speaker C: No. [00:47:53] Speaker A: Fine. So are we. Are. Are where? Where are you? Where. What's it. What's going on? [00:48:03] Speaker D: Yeah, I'd like to see if we could, like, punch out the top of this elevator and See if we could perhaps climb up like they do in action movies. [00:48:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll say. You could easily punch it out. I don't think that's gonna be an issue for you. But give me a width check as you're looking up from the up into the elevator shaft. [00:48:28] Speaker D: Oh, that's a four, I guess. I guess he's a little witty. Okay, so that's a four plus. Oh, my gosh, a six. [00:48:40] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:48:42] Speaker D: I guess all of a sudden I'm really glitzy. Fifteen. So what's another five? [00:48:51] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So you definitely beat it by more than five. So as you're, like, looking up, you, brother John's like, here, let me. Let me help you up, brother. And they're going to lift you up so you could peek through. And you see that it's a long, dark shaft all the way up. But as you're like laying your eyes adjust, you see that besides the elevator, like wires and all that, you see that there are red lights, are lasers going up through the upper floors from where you are. And so they. You're not quite sure what they are, but they're definitely not standard. [00:49:37] Speaker D: Yeah. I look up over at the lasers, I look down to brother John. [00:49:42] Speaker E: A dangerous, long, dark shaft. Something you're a bit used to, I think. [00:49:48] Speaker A: Sounds like a Thursday night. [00:49:52] Speaker E: Think we can get through? [00:49:55] Speaker A: Well, if we get through, we ain't going to fight any more people, Dutch. [00:50:03] Speaker E: And that ain't no fun. Ain't it? [00:50:05] Speaker A: Ain't no fun for me. [00:50:08] Speaker D: I kind of gesture towards this, like, laser grid pathway, and I kind of show it to the rest of the people in the elevator. [00:50:16] Speaker E: Anyone feel lucky? [00:50:19] Speaker G: Always. [00:50:21] Speaker F: And I'm going to put my gun somewhere it disappears. [00:50:28] Speaker D: Yeah. I'll hold out a muscly veiny arm to bring you up top with us if you'd like. [00:50:34] Speaker F: Mm. Gonna accept that hand. As soon as I'm up there with you, I go, hello, boys. [00:50:41] Speaker E: Hey there, sweetheart. My name's Dutch McCock and you can call me Dutch McCock. [00:50:47] Speaker F: Well, Dutch McCock, what do you do? [00:50:52] Speaker E: Oh, a little this, a little that, but mostly that. [00:50:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yes. [00:50:57] Speaker F: Let me, let me, let me. Oh, I see you're a handsy guy. I meant, what are you here for a good time? [00:51:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:09] Speaker F: Use your catchphrase. [00:51:11] Speaker A: Oh, oh, oh, yeah. [00:51:14] Speaker D: Sorry. [00:51:14] Speaker E: Forgot about that. You know what I'm actually here to do most of all is I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. But as I told my friend brother John here earlier, I am actually allergic to One of the active ingredients in most mainstream gum. So it's kind of hard to come by gum that I can chew. So I usually go with the first option, which is do kick ass. [00:51:36] Speaker A: Hell yeah. [00:51:39] Speaker F: Wow. Impressive. [00:51:42] Speaker C: I. [00:51:42] Speaker F: Look at the laser grid. [00:51:45] Speaker A: Turbotaka. [00:51:48] Speaker F: I told you. I'm going to try and get you all to use your catchphrases as much as possible. [00:51:53] Speaker A: Love it. [00:51:57] Speaker D: Yeah, I. I guess you also see the laser grade. And if you need any help to get up, the Dutch is here. [00:52:04] Speaker F: What. What is. So would. I don't know if I don't think laser grids would count as restraints, but would it count as a type of imprisonment? [00:52:20] Speaker A: Only one way to find out. [00:52:24] Speaker F: I'm gonna attempt it. It's mostly because I have escape artist. And if I wish to go through it stealthily, which. Yes, yes, I do, I could lower the DC of the check by 3, but it specifically states when escaping restraints or imprisonment. And I feel like a laser grid could be considered if we're trying to leave this floor. [00:52:47] Speaker A: Sure, sure. We'll get to that in a second. What are Hannah west and Kevlar doing? Sorry, Dr. Hannah west and Kestrel Kevlar. [00:53:00] Speaker B: I. I imagine I'm still over your shoulder. I don't know if you can put. [00:53:03] Speaker C: Me down because I can put you down. Most everyone left the bill, left the elevator except for. [00:53:07] Speaker B: And went up the little scrawny guy in the corner. [00:53:09] Speaker C: And that's not a problem. [00:53:13] Speaker A: Yeah, there's. They're still kind of just holding the door closed because, like, they're, like, not sure if they want to go outside alone because I don't know what's happening. [00:53:22] Speaker C: As long as I keep doing that, they can live. [00:53:25] Speaker A: Okay. What? All right. What. What are you. You're climbing the elevators? That's so dangerous. I work life insurance, and that's actually one of our largest cases here in Dell, Michigan. [00:53:42] Speaker B: As a doctor, I cannot recommend it. [00:53:45] Speaker C: Yeah, we can leave if you prefer. [00:53:49] Speaker A: I. I don't prefer any of this. [00:53:51] Speaker C: I'm not asking you. Shut up. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Okay, sure. [00:53:57] Speaker B: We could take our chances with anything on the floor. [00:54:03] Speaker C: It'll be dangerous, but you'll make it out. I don't mess around. [00:54:10] Speaker B: It's true. You know? Yeah, this is true. [00:54:19] Speaker A: I was like. Okay, do you want me to stop? Do you want me to let go of the button? [00:54:25] Speaker C: Yes. But I'm going to just push him in front of the doors and use him as a meat shield just in case, like. [00:54:32] Speaker A: Oh, hey, wait. What? Oh. Oh. Oh, gosh. Oh, wait. Why are you putting me Here. As the doors slowly open, we'll see what's on the other side in this second. As you go to Bunny Bell, who you found one of the bathrooms on the lower floor. It used to be beautiful gold all over, golden linoleum, but now there's like, broken glass. One of the toilets in the past three minutes have somehow already kind of like, been broken and water's flying everywhere. What's your. What do you want to do in the bathroom? [00:55:08] Speaker G: I want to lock myself in a stall and put on this gold bracelet. [00:55:13] Speaker A: Sure, sure, go ahead. You could find one of the stalls that is still able to be closed, and you're going to go ahead and try giving me a tech check, if you would. D.C. is going to be six. [00:55:34] Speaker G: It's a three. [00:55:36] Speaker A: Okay. You want to blow up or. [00:55:39] Speaker G: I do not have tokens. Except now I do have tokens. So you got. [00:55:42] Speaker A: Yeah, you got some tokens. As you're trying to kind of figure out how to get the spikes back into the bracelet so you can put it on without hurting yourself. Same thing with the one you're on, the gold one. You kind of like, are messing with it. What are you using to trying to, like, mess with this? [00:56:02] Speaker G: I mean, I figured it was some sort of like, lock picking thing. And as stated before, my hair is in a beautiful updo, so I'm just going to grab one of those pins and start fidgeting away. [00:56:13] Speaker A: Yeah, as you start fidgeting away, you're trying to mess around and you hear a couple clicks, which, like, you know, you know how that works. But then like, the, you. You push the bobby pin a little bit too far in and then you stop hearing clicks and you start hearing ticks. [00:56:32] Speaker G: I would like to skimp around at the stall and just go ahead and throw that bracelet into the main room. [00:56:40] Speaker A: Go ahead and give me a stunts. This is going to be a DC6 as well. [00:56:47] Speaker G: Okay. A2. I'm gonna blow up. [00:56:50] Speaker A: All right, good call. [00:56:53] Speaker G: That's another two. So that is exactly a six. [00:56:57] Speaker A: Beautiful as like, you hear this tick and like you've been around for a second, you start realizing, oh, oh, no. Oh, gosh. Oh, oh. So you run out to the thing and you throw it and it gets just far enough where you're not actually like, like hit by an explosion, but you're hit by a shock wave and you kind of get like, like thrown into one of the pillars as just like a pretty hefty size explosion goes off in the middle of this crowd. Bodies fly everywhere. Champagne glasses, miscellaneous weapons. Fly. And you know what? Scattering up next to you harmlessly. You see a space spear just lands next to you. [00:57:43] Speaker G: Great. Bunny had sort of curled protectively around her tuna purse and now leans down and grabs the spear and looks around to see if anyone's coming at her. [00:57:55] Speaker A: Right now, people are little concussed and exploded from the explosion. So no one's currently running at you right now, but you. You have the wherewithal to look around. You don't see an obvious way out. You saw the front entrance. It's completely like an iron gate has gone down. [00:58:13] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:58:14] Speaker G: Then she will make her way to the elevators. [00:58:17] Speaker A: Yeah. You are running to the elevators. Give me another stunts check. DC3. Just, like, get there as fast as you can. [00:58:27] Speaker G: That's a one. [00:58:29] Speaker A: A one. Okay. Well, was only DC3. So as you're running through, you are slowed down just a skosh by some people like, bumping into you. Not even on purpose. They're just kind of trying to run away from more explosions that may be happening. So you're able to get into an elevator alone, thankfully. So you hit the buttons. You notice that the number only goes up to three. But this was designed and perfect by purpose. As you only go up to floor number two as it is under the other elevator. [00:59:05] Speaker G: I'm going to press the call button. [00:59:07] Speaker A: You press the call button. Beep, beep. Hello, welcome to the Nine Circles. How may I help you? [00:59:18] Speaker G: Hi, My elevator happens to be stuck on the second floor. [00:59:22] Speaker A: That is by design. [00:59:25] Speaker G: Well, it's a shitty design. [00:59:27] Speaker A: Yes. [00:59:33] Speaker G: I demand that it be fixed. I'm a Gold Bracelet customer here. [00:59:38] Speaker A: Is that so? You hear it clicking and then a little robot eye comes out and a red laser scans down up you. It seems that you are lying. [00:59:51] Speaker G: Okay, I do. Wait. Nope, Never mind. I lower the DC when trying to tell if someone is lying to me. I don't lower the DC for me. [01:00:00] Speaker F: Lying. [01:00:02] Speaker G: Never mind. [01:00:03] Speaker A: It seems that you are lying. So you could either get out of this floor or you can go to the basement. [01:00:12] Speaker G: What's in the basement? [01:00:14] Speaker A: Let's find out. The elevator doors close. You're only on the second floor, but your elevator starts going down fast. And even though the basement theoretically should just be below the first floor, it feels like the elevator is accelerating for like 20 seconds. And suddenly you start hearing it slowing down. And you hear a ding, even though the numbers aren't even showing basement anymore. And you see the doors opened to what seems to be like. It's hard to see. There's so much mist or steam or Something going around. And the voice that you call just says, welcome to the spa. Enjoy. And the elevator floor kind of like punts you out. It goes up and goes like this, like Vogo's 90 degree angle and shoots you out the door and closes behind you. [01:01:18] Speaker G: All this steam's gonna be bad for the trail full of Matuna. Oh, but I wonder if they have cucumber water down here. And she will go off in search of a drink. [01:01:28] Speaker A: We'll get back to you in a little bit, Bunny Belle. We're going to go to Ruby Valentine and Dutch and Macaque. Sorry, Dutch Macaque. It's become Dutch at this point. [01:01:43] Speaker F: Dutch middle name in specifically the apostrophe. [01:01:49] Speaker A: And like Dutchen as Dutch you are. Are you hoisting Valentine or is this kind of like Ruby, you are going to jump up and get used it up and try to make like, like do some sick like acrobatics through the first ring of lasers. [01:02:14] Speaker F: I'm hoping for sick acrobatics through the lasers. [01:02:19] Speaker A: Why don't we make this a combined roll, Dutch Maw, if you could give me. Give me a Brawl roll difficulty five. And Ruby Valentine give me a stunts roll difficulty five as well. [01:02:38] Speaker F: Could I offer. Could I bargain for a sneak? Because this is imprisonment. [01:02:43] Speaker A: Sure. [01:02:45] Speaker F: Thank you. It lowers the DC by three. That's why. [01:02:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:48] Speaker F: Escape artist. [01:02:50] Speaker D: I look over at Ruby Valentine. [01:02:52] Speaker E: Hey there, little lady. Ever heard of the Fastball special? [01:03:00] Speaker D: That's a two. I'm gonna burn two turbo tokens to blow up Brawl. [01:03:05] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [01:03:09] Speaker D: So it's a four and then a five, which is nine. What did you say the DC was? [01:03:22] Speaker A: Five. [01:03:23] Speaker D: Oh, okay. [01:03:24] Speaker A: Cool. Yeah. So you're able to give Ruby Valentine plenty of height. And Ruby, what'd you roll? [01:03:30] Speaker F: Let's see. But I have. I have tokens. I'm gonna use one of them so I can blow up. [01:03:42] Speaker A: Okay. [01:03:42] Speaker F: It's right there. Let me see. That would be 66. That's a six. So blow up again. [01:03:48] Speaker A: Blow up again. Let's go. [01:03:58] Speaker F: I could blow up again. If I use a token, I will be out of. Yeah, no, it. I'll. I'll. I'll do it. Yeah, I'll do it because it'll get me to a 10. And then I'll try to figure out how to use my catchphrase to get me one back. I wish I had another one because I rolled a 9. [01:04:22] Speaker A: So 4, 10, 18, 27. You are able to maneuver your body weight so well that when Dutchen Dutch Macaque hoist you you not only are able to pirouette through the first ring of lasers. You see that there is now one going back and forth. You grab the elevator wire, are unable to kind of do a swig, like, kind of twirl, avoiding this next ring of lasers. And you're now, you see a floor that says a door that says five on it. As you were able to get lifted two floors up. And you see that now the laser grid above you has gotten even more intricate. And you could see even further up now, and you see flamethrower. [01:05:22] Speaker F: I look at it, and I'll just shout back down. The laser grid is getting a lot more gritty. Also, there's a flamethrower. Whoever designed this clearly wasn't Dutch in my cock. I have a question now, since I'm all the way up here, does it look like there's, like, I don't know, a button, wires, levers, something that I could maneuver to perhaps turn this shit off? [01:06:03] Speaker A: The only, like, lever you see is, like, kind of like the service lever by the elevator door to open this store for this level. But as far as this, they're looking up. Give me a woods check, see if you can see anything. [01:06:21] Speaker F: One second. Last thing I rolled was sneak, right? I just want to make sure it's because I. I stopped that one out of D10. [01:06:30] Speaker A: So DC is going to be seven, by the way. [01:06:32] Speaker F: DC seven for wits. [01:06:36] Speaker A: Three total. Okay. As you're looking up, you. It's really like, you see the laser grids, but in an unlit elevator besides, just like, these red lasers and a small window of light that's already kind of petered out from the elevator two floors below you. Now you can't really see anything thing you can use to your advantage. [01:06:59] Speaker F: Then I'm just going to, like, open because. Because you said there was a. There was a lever that I can open that will open this. [01:07:06] Speaker A: Yeah, the. The service. [01:07:08] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:07:09] Speaker F: Then I'll just open it because I got to get out somehow. [01:07:14] Speaker A: All right, Dutch McCock, you and father John. What. What are you planning? Are you going to try to, like, go up as well? Are you going to, you know, hear the door below you being opened? The other with the other people there? [01:07:26] Speaker D: Nah, I look up at the laser grid. I'm just like, well, look up there. [01:07:30] Speaker E: We're gonna take the fun route. [01:07:32] Speaker D: And then me and Brother John are going to go through the. What, Second floor? Third floor. Third floor. [01:07:39] Speaker A: Third floor? Yeah. Second floor, yeah. All the people. Yeah. You. You two jump down the elevator, jostles a little bit as the door is opening. And in front of all of you now with Kev and Dr. Hannah west, you see that this floor is completely covered. And what was once spotless gold statues, like gold walls, gold trimming, the most opulent you could be. And you see that people have already been trying to run through here, but they have been stopped quickly as you all enter. And you see about 20 pairs of eyes. Look at you as there's 20 angry bobcats being stuck in this hall. [01:08:36] Speaker E: This is a toughie. I don't like hurting old cute little kitties. [01:08:40] Speaker A: They are about 300 pounds and 5ft long. [01:08:45] Speaker E: Little the Dutch. [01:08:49] Speaker D: I guess we could just try. Well, okay. Are there any chandeliers in this room? [01:08:56] Speaker A: There must be. You said it was absolutely the most opulent. [01:09:00] Speaker D: I am going to look at Brother John, look up to the closest chandelier and try to get some air, some height from these cats. And then, yeah, try to throw him up at the chandelier with the intention of him latching onto that chandelier and then pulling me up. And then we kind of have elevation, I suppose, like. [01:09:24] Speaker A: You don't got to tell me twice. Go ahead and give Operation Chandelier Chandelier, Brother. We should get some of these for the Church of Satan. Go. Give me a stunts check, please. [01:09:41] Speaker D: Stunts check. [01:09:43] Speaker B: I'll look at Kestrel and be like, darling, I think you're gonna have to throw me. [01:09:47] Speaker D: I suppose that is a three. Which I will use one of my Turbo tokens. [01:09:53] Speaker A: Yes. Sorry. D.C. is gonna be fine. So. [01:09:57] Speaker D: So I will blow up stunts. Four plus. Oh, so close. You know what? It was a five. I have one more Turbo token, so I will use it. [01:10:11] Speaker A: Let's go. [01:10:12] Speaker D: So four plus six. That'll be a 10. And then I will roll a D8, which is a four. So that is a 14 total. [01:10:22] Speaker A: You're able to. You and Brother John. Big, buff, burly, mad. You throw Brother John as if they were made of, like, paper. They fly through the air gracefully and even land on the chandelier, like, with their legs hooked upside down, their arms waiting to grab whoever needs to be hoisted up. [01:10:49] Speaker D: Well, I'll jump up into his beautiful legs. Or arms. [01:10:53] Speaker A: Beautiful arms. And there you jump. You're able to he hoist you up and they're like, well, hello, ladies. You going to join us? Are you going to go fight some? [01:11:04] Speaker C: That won't be necessary. Never have to find it. And I'm going to, I guess. How much do I trust these two? [01:11:16] Speaker B: You at least trust them. Not to drop me. [01:11:19] Speaker C: No. [01:11:23] Speaker A: By the way, the guy you're holding is like. Like start screaming and just gonna, like, try to run down the hallway, which a couple of bobcats just start chasing after them. [01:11:31] Speaker C: Excellent. Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to. My other idea is. Is. Is absolutely nonsense. So, yeah, I'm going to just. [01:11:48] Speaker A: There's 20 bobcats in this hallway made out of gold. [01:11:53] Speaker C: You're right. You're right. So, you know, the whole, like, person who was, like, raised by wolves, reintroduced to wolves, and, like, can still speak the wolf language. That. But with bobcats is what I would like to attempt. [01:12:09] Speaker A: Absolutely. Give me. Give me a hot roll. Hot roll. [01:12:16] Speaker G: Let's go. [01:12:20] Speaker C: Oh, no. I'm gonna use all three tokens to blow that up. [01:12:23] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. Well, so I'll remind you, this may not be relevant now, but you do have the ones. [01:12:28] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that's right. [01:12:29] Speaker A: So it's only once per episode, but this is one shot. You could count that as a mic style. You can expose from it. [01:12:36] Speaker C: You're right. You know what? I will. I will. So I will spend my tokens and it still blows up. Does it. Does it permanently stay blown up if you use the ones. Okay. Geez. What is with a 4 plus 1? [01:12:49] Speaker A: 5. [01:12:50] Speaker C: Well, all I've been rolling is, is I blow up a four and then I roll a one. [01:12:55] Speaker A: DC was five. So you start. You start yowling. [01:13:05] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. I go down on all fours. Absolutely. In the chainmail dress with the deep, deep cut. Yeah, yeah, 100%. That's what's happening here. [01:13:14] Speaker A: And these cats start, stop, like, glaring at you and, like, pacing. They. They fully stop and they. Their demeanor completely changes. They even, like, sit down and they're just like, like sitting up like cats do when they're, like, looking at you and they're just like, looking their head very curiously, looking at the guys above you, not giving a care. Some of them do run off for the other guy again. And you just hear, oh, God, no. But everything else is fine. They. They seem to be fully in tune with you. [01:13:50] Speaker B: Dr. West is feeling things. [01:13:55] Speaker C: They may not forget. Things I'm not going to ask for clarity. Just gotta make my way down the hallway, letting the bobcats part for me. [01:14:05] Speaker B: I will follow close behind. [01:14:07] Speaker A: And they do. And Dutch Macaque, you and father, Bro, Father, brother, Brother John are just kind of like swinging on Chandler Lewis. You don't even have to at this point. But brother John has just made the points like, this is thick as I. [01:14:25] Speaker E: Wanna swing from the chandeliers. [01:14:28] Speaker D: And I'm gonna try to like monkey bar, like between chandelier to chandelier and get across the room. [01:14:33] Speaker A: Sure. Just give me, give me a, give me a stunt check. [01:14:38] Speaker D: Sweet. That's a D8. Now let's go seven. What's DC? [01:14:45] Speaker A: Oh, I need to start rolling these before I tell you. Three. [01:14:48] Speaker D: Okay. Sweet seven. [01:14:50] Speaker A: Yeah. You're able to do this with ease, brother John. Catching. Keeping up with you as you're going through this long, long hallway. And as you're getting through, you see that there's a different elevator on this side, that the doors start to open. Waiting for someone as the bobcats leave everyone alone. And we're gonna go down, down, down to the spa. Bunnybell, you are going through here, and you're trying to make your way through all this, like mist and steam. It's getting very, very hot down here. Could you give me a width check, please? [01:15:35] Speaker G: To be fair, I feel like I should get advantage because Bunnybell is used to hot flashes. But that's a four on a four on a four. So that was a five. I will use a turbo token to explode. [01:15:48] Speaker A: Incredible. [01:15:51] Speaker G: And that is a three. So 13, all told, this was wits, this was wit. [01:15:56] Speaker A: So the DC was a six. I was gonna let you keep rolling. And then as you're going through, you start hearing murmurs. And you're able to kind of like wave your hand around and kind of see, and you see like red light starting to come through. And you walk into an area where there's like now like fans kind of pushing the steam out of the way. And you see a hot tub with about three. Three like the hottest women you've ever seen. Completely dressed in like pantsuits. I don't seem to be getting wet, but they're all hanging out in this hot tub surrounded by red light. And you realize that this hot tub is being powered by all the radiators. And this room is actually the basement radiator room that all the radiators for all the pools and all the hot tubs in this building all go down here. And this is the hottest hot tub you've ever witnessed. But these women, not even, not even sweating. And they look at you like. But what's a 29 year old something doing down here in a 3000 degree something place like this? [01:17:12] Speaker G: Oh, you know, I was looking for a place to take smoke break. I don't suppose you could point me to the back exit? [01:17:19] Speaker A: No, I can't actually. [01:17:23] Speaker G: And why would that be? [01:17:25] Speaker A: Doesn't exist. [01:17:28] Speaker G: That's not Very fire sight. [01:17:30] Speaker A: This place isn't. When this place was built at the inception of Colin, this town, hell, it was made to be unsafe. OSHA standards. Never heard of them. [01:17:44] Speaker G: Well, you know, just because the building is old, I did not see a little historical sticker outside on the front. [01:17:50] Speaker A: Oh, that's Victoria's doing. These are like three different women talking, almost like in unison, but like they're just switching off. One is in a pink pantsuit, one green, one yellow. They're all different talkings. Like Vittorio doesn't like all that, you know, but, you know, they said that we could just hang out down here and enjoy the spa. We don't have these where we're from, so this is great. You what, what are you doing? Is the. Has the event already started? [01:18:25] Speaker G: Not to my knowledge. Like I said, I was just looking for a place to smoke. Saw some smoke coming from down here and figured. [01:18:34] Speaker A: Give me a hot check, please. DC6. [01:18:41] Speaker G: That was a one. Oh, we have the ones. Okay. [01:18:44] Speaker A: You're the ones. Do you want to blow that up? [01:18:47] Speaker G: Yes. [01:18:48] Speaker A: Okay. [01:18:52] Speaker G: That was another one. So that's a six. [01:18:56] Speaker A: Oh wait, from a D4. [01:19:00] Speaker G: D4, which I blew up and then I got a one. Oh, that would only be a five. [01:19:05] Speaker A: Yeah. You have a turbo token? [01:19:07] Speaker G: I do have one Turbo token. [01:19:11] Speaker A: You want to use it or do you want to fail? [01:19:14] Speaker G: I will use it. [01:19:18] Speaker A: Okay. They're. They're looking at you and just. Well, we know that the Secret to Eternal 29, this must be a pack a day. So sure, if you want to go down that hall, just. They point down and you see that the, the billowing wind steam is going through. You see a long hallway adjacent to where you came in. Leads to a door that says like fire exit but has a pointing up arrow and just that will take you to the stairs. You should check out your little clock there. It says you only got two and a half hours left. Tick tock. [01:20:10] Speaker G: Well, thank you kindly, ladies. And she will head on up towards that fire exit. [01:20:17] Speaker A: Yeah, you. You go towards this door and you open up and like you're almost like the door slams from the temperature differential as it's just like normal temperature in this hallway. And you look up and you see that a guesstimate about like five or six stories of stairs from where you are at. [01:20:46] Speaker G: She sort of huffs even thinking about climbing all those stairs. And I think takes her boots off and in her bag beneath all the fish is a sensible pair of flats. And she will pull those on and start climbing. [01:21:03] Speaker A: Yeah, it's Covered in fish. Just for that, take a Turbo token. That's nasty. And as the door stands behind you and we see you walking up these stairs, we're gonna go to a door opening. As we see Ruby Valentine, the fifth level door is opening for you. And this one, your eyes don't even need to readjust because there's actually not that much light coming through here. You see that there, this room, this floor must be the glow in the dark floor. You heard as it seems to be no light, but there is different color, like glow sticks, mural art glowing in all these different neons. And you see that your bracelet is also glowing bright red as you go through here. But it's oddly quiet, like even from like downstairs. You heard from the elevator, you started hearing like a bunch of like yelling and screaming and like cats. But the door closes behind you and you're left in this very, very dark. [01:22:17] Speaker F: Once again, my breasts are telling me that I might be in danger and I do not wear sensible flats. Flats were created by feminists and I don't know if I am one. So I'm gonna walk down this hall with the most audible click, clacks. And as I take maybe two or three steps in, I'm also gonna pull out my gun and very audibly like load it again or pull it black so it makes that. And I don't know what kind of gun I have either. Okay. Like it's just a gun. And yeah, just a gun. And I'm going to say you better come out or consider this a warning shot. [01:23:15] Speaker A: Turbo token. [01:23:17] Speaker F: Thank you. [01:23:19] Speaker A: As you say that, you, your eyes are kind of dazzled for a second as the light in this hallway shines bright for just a second. Just enough to use for you to see a bunch of people in full on armor running at you with swords like claymores. And as the light goes back down, you see that they have a faint green glow around them. Could you give me a tough check as one is closer than you thought they were? As you hear clanking instead of the clinking of your non sensible heels, they're gonna roll a brawl against you. [01:24:02] Speaker F: Brawl against me. And I'm rolling tough. [01:24:04] Speaker A: You're rolling tough? [01:24:05] Speaker F: Yes, tough. [01:24:08] Speaker A: That's gonna be a DC9. [01:24:11] Speaker F: DC9? Yeah. I don't think I have anything for that. For this I'm just going to just straight up roll four explode. Yeah. What was my DC was nine, right? [01:24:25] Speaker A: He's nine. [01:24:26] Speaker F: Okay. I'm just trying to keep count. [01:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:24:33] Speaker G: I just got it. I just got. [01:24:36] Speaker F: Yeah, I'll Use it. So that way I will blow up. Because I keep rolling like one just to, like, blow up now. And I'm like, holy shit. [01:24:46] Speaker D: I'm not. [01:24:46] Speaker F: I'm never gonna be using any of my other abilities because I'm just gonna keep using it to blow up. [01:24:51] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, you're out of ten. You explode. [01:24:53] Speaker F: Ten. Good. Come on. What am I saying? Seven on the. I just have to keep nonsensically saying the same damn line at this point. Point. But yeah, seven says. Was that 17? [01:25:10] Speaker A: 17. So, yeah, you. You see this, like, lightly glowing suit of armor run at you. You're able to dodge the claymore, swing down as it clashes into the ground, creating sparks on the floor. And you're able to kind of move and knock this armor off balance. And so it clatters to the floor. And all the armor pieces just actually go everywhere as if there's, like, no one in there. But now there's a couple other glowing armor around you. What is your course of action? [01:25:46] Speaker F: I see. So what you're telling me is that there's nothing inside this armor? [01:25:53] Speaker A: You don't see anything. It is completely dark. But when you hear the armor definitely clatter, like, you see the helmet go down the room. [01:26:01] Speaker F: Yeah. Okay. The claymore is still there, right? [01:26:08] Speaker A: Sure is. [01:26:09] Speaker F: I'mma pick that up. I'mma put my gun back somewhere. Disappears. But it's on my person and I am. I'm. I'm just going to keep. I'm. I'm just. Oh, I'll say, last chance, getting ready. And then I don't give him a chance. I just go for it. Gonna go. Just fight a bunch of these. [01:26:35] Speaker A: Give me weapons. [01:26:37] Speaker F: Weapons. Yeah. And I have. And I just roll from where I left it off. Right. [01:26:40] Speaker A: So the D. Yeah, whatever. Whatever. You explode to you keep that dice that is graduated. [01:26:45] Speaker F: Thank you. Yeah, I was keeping track of them. I just wanted to, like, make sure that I'm doing this right Side note, how I picture this next scene is one of those, like, old boy long shots where the camera's like all the way back and you see the whole fucking floor from the window. Yeah, yeah. And it's just a long, like, beautiful stunt combo shot. It's just fully, fully combat. I said combo. I meant combat sequence. That's what I meant to say. [01:27:16] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it's definitely. It's a hallway shot for sure. [01:27:19] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And like, the lights are, like flashing on and off. Totally seizure inducing, but it's okay because this is like a 1990s to early 2000s movie. And everybody knows that seizures don't exist yet. [01:27:33] Speaker A: It hasn't been invented because of 1996 episode of Pokemon where it caused a lot of people to get seizures. [01:27:40] Speaker F: Yeah, that was only in Japan. [01:27:42] Speaker A: It never aired in us. [01:27:43] Speaker F: Yeah, I was going to say, I was going to say. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. We, we don't care about this. Nobody care. Who the cares about Michigan Big time Rush And I rolled an 8. So I blow up. [01:27:58] Speaker A: Incredible. Yeah, I mean they're. They only rolled a three for tough. So. [01:28:04] Speaker F: It'S ten next, right? Sorry, I'm just looking for my D10. Oh fuck man, I'm gonna. This is my curse. I rolled nine. [01:28:12] Speaker A: I mean still. That's a 17. [01:28:15] Speaker F: Yeah, no, I mean like I just keep rolling one off from exploding and I don't have any more. [01:28:21] Speaker A: Yeah, no, you. There are three suits of armor with these claymores running at you. You definitely swing this claymore which is almost as tall as you are slicing these two of these armor things in half with one death swing and you do a sick backflip and you clash swords with the last one. Sparks flying everywhere. You feel like you hear something as if the, the helmet piece of this armor starts moving as if they're trying to talk but nothing comes out. And so they're going to try to push back at you with their clay bar, trying to like take you down. Let's see. They are rolling a five. Brawl at you. Give me a tough check. DC five. [01:29:07] Speaker F: Cool. Eat eight. Ah yeah. [01:29:11] Speaker A: Explode, right? [01:29:13] Speaker F: Yeah. This is my game. I can keep track of that later. It's D10 now because I blew up. That's a 7. So 17. What? 17. No, 15. Yeah, I was like, no, 8. 8, 8. 8 on 8 is. [01:29:35] Speaker A: I thought you already had something. So 15. [01:29:37] Speaker F: Yeah, I keep thinking I have 10 too. My bad. [01:29:40] Speaker A: This armor like is pushing back against you and you're pushing back even harder with strength that from the outside no one expects you to have. As these sparks start flying, flying, flying and you break their claymore with yours and you swing that through this piece of armor, the chess piece hits a wall adjacent to you so hard to get stuck into it. And as you do, more spikes fly across the wall as if this whole hallway is made out of like material that is made to light stuff on fire. Fisage, I think it's called. That's like a seven point word I don't know if I got right. But that's okay because we're never stopped blowing up. [01:30:25] Speaker F: Yeah. [01:30:27] Speaker A: But the room gets quieter and then like, as that torso of the armor piece hits the wall, like, very dim lights come on. And you see yellow light appears in front of you as the elevator on the end of Rube appears. [01:30:43] Speaker F: Mm. I'm gonna keep one of the swords with me. [01:30:46] Speaker A: Hell yeah. [01:30:47] Speaker F: I'm gonna. I'm gonna pull out my hair tie. And as I do, I pull off the red wig. Bam. Now I've got my black hair. My natural hair, perhaps. We don't know. There could be more wigs. We don't know. Take that off. I take off my jacket because it's probably covered in, like, glow in the dark stuff now because I've been fighting, you know, shit's been blowing up and stuff. I got. I need a outfit change. Outfit change. There's a drink on the table. I drink it. I don't care. And your teeth are glowing. Oh, my teeth are. Mm, mm, mm. And, yeah, throw that jacket. I see a piece of armor. Maybe I put. Maybe I put, like, one weird, like, just, like the Pauldron on. That's it. That's it. Yeah, just one. My tits are still out. All right. [01:31:38] Speaker A: Supposed to put. [01:31:38] Speaker F: I've got. I've got my knit. Like, my nipples show through the bikini, through the thing. Just like how all the women in the 90s did it. Okay. I like why. Okay, Friends. Like the first four seasons of Friends. I saw every bitch's nipples that I don't understand. But that's what's happening over here. Okay, Black hair is. I don't even remember what kind of hairstyle I made on this damn picture. One second, one second. I scroll up. Black hair is in a very tight now very messy bun. I once again have bangs suddenly. And I will. I'll leave the glasses. I'll leave the glasses as a calling card right there and just click, clack all the way back into the. The. The next elevator and just kind of nod. And I'm happy with what I've done because now, you know, I came here for a good time, but maybe I want money now. Maybe my. My motives have changed as you do. [01:32:36] Speaker A: You hit the. The highest button, and you see that goes to floor seven, and that's where it's taking you. And we're going to cut from there. As the elevator doors close, as. As on the third floor, elevator doors open, and we see the rest of this crew. Kev, Dr. Hannah West, Dutch McCock, and Father John are all here. And you all get into this elevator, and you all notice the same thing, that it only goes up to floor seven as well. [01:33:11] Speaker E: Number seven. [01:33:14] Speaker B: Lucky number seven. [01:33:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, lucky. [01:33:19] Speaker E: Y'all want to hit up all the other single floors in between just for fun? [01:33:23] Speaker C: No. [01:33:26] Speaker B: I think we can do that later when our lives are not in danger. [01:33:31] Speaker A: Okay, that's what's most exciting. But, you know, we're doing as the. What the. The ladies say? [01:33:39] Speaker E: They didn't grow up like us, brother. [01:33:41] Speaker A: Oh, they sure as hell did like us, brother. They sure as hell did. [01:33:46] Speaker B: I think my date would prefer less of a reasons for her to get stressed. [01:33:53] Speaker C: Yes, date. We are dating. This is my girlfriend. [01:33:59] Speaker A: Oh, congratulations. [01:34:01] Speaker E: I think that real weird, but congrats. [01:34:07] Speaker D: It's a normal thing. [01:34:11] Speaker C: We're always girlfriends all the time. [01:34:13] Speaker A: Always. The elevator is going. [01:34:14] Speaker C: Not abnormal in any way. [01:34:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:34:18] Speaker D: Just like, standing there. [01:34:23] Speaker A: What brings you here, Bunny Bell? You huffing and puffing. You made it up to the up the stairs. And you open the door to the side as two elevator doors open next to you and you see Ruby Valentine, Kev, Dutch McCock, Dr. Hannah west, and this very wide open floor. It doesn't even seem to be like any rooms on here. It's just an empty floor with a large window on the end. And you all have a brief moment to breathe. [01:35:12] Speaker C: I'm gonna inhale and smell the tuna and just go, damn, Better use that down below. That's it. [01:35:22] Speaker F: Everybody's here, right? [01:35:24] Speaker G: Protectively clutches her bag. [01:35:27] Speaker F: I'm just gonna, like, maybe like, you know, like with. With my lips, just, like, you know, blow my. My hair up and it doesn't. And it cut my bangs, like, go up a little bit, come back down, do nothing. And look at the rest of y'all. I'm holding the claymore like this, like, over my shoulder with both of my arms, like, around it, like, bruh, I should be cutting up my arms by now, but who knows? Maybe I'm not. Maybe I am. We don't know yet. Whatever sexy is sexiest is gonna happen. And I'm, like, just kind of standing around looking at y'all in my tight pants, high heels, titty out. Look. Look at all of y'all. Just be like, oh, like it's your lucky day. All of your lucky days. [01:36:12] Speaker G: I'm pretty sure this is the least lucky day I've had in a while, actually. [01:36:18] Speaker B: Do all of your lucky days involve you being hunted for sport? [01:36:24] Speaker F: Well, usually I do the hunting, but. [01:36:28] Speaker B: So the tabled. [01:36:31] Speaker F: The tables have turned. That's the saying. [01:36:38] Speaker B: Yes. What I said. [01:36:40] Speaker F: You said tabled. I thought you were a doctor. [01:36:43] Speaker C: I'm going to pop one of the knife Heels out of my, out of my shoe. [01:36:47] Speaker F: Oh, sweetie, mine's bigger. [01:36:51] Speaker C: Oh, I'm just getting rid of my shoes. How about the other knife? Heal. [01:36:59] Speaker B: I still don't know how you managed to hide all of those. [01:37:02] Speaker C: Experience. [01:37:07] Speaker A: As you're all having this moment to size each other up, you all look onto this floor and again, this floor basically empty, except you could even see the windows to the outside. And then from the middle as if some. You see a vent pop out from the ceiling and someone jumps down from the vent pulling two double sided swords on fire. And he's yelling, where do you think you all are going? [01:37:43] Speaker B: Away from you. [01:37:46] Speaker A: This is the only way up before. And they're actually cut off by the sound of helicopters. You start hearing the unmistakable like, like whipping of helicopter blades from the outside and the revving of some engines until you see basically the whole back window are lit up with these lights coming through. And you hear this guy go, what the hell is that? And then suddenly earth shattering sounds as all these windows break as five Supras drive through the windows that are being held up by the helicopters. And this guy gets just taken out by one of them. And you have five sports cars driving towards you on this floor is VIN. [01:38:44] Speaker C: Diesel in one of them? [01:38:45] Speaker A: No, DIN Diesel. [01:38:47] Speaker C: Oh, I see. [01:38:48] Speaker A: DIN Diesel. [01:38:48] Speaker G: Of course. [01:38:49] Speaker C: Easy mistake. [01:38:50] Speaker B: Of course. Of course. Easy mistake. Rookie mistake. [01:38:53] Speaker A: And like these cars are running, they kind of like they go towards you, they drift to a stop and you see people, they're wearing like these weird like as if they're like Cheshire cat masks. But like it's like off brand Cheshire cats. And then where their face would be, they're all wearing just like a sheer black mask. So it's just like an empty hole. And it's like you ain't getting any further. And they rev the cars. This, the sound of engines reverberating in this room and they're like, let's get them boys. And they, they do a donut in place and start driving towards y'all. [01:39:34] Speaker E: Well, thanks for bringing us our rides. [01:39:38] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [01:39:39] Speaker D: Towards the closest car. [01:39:42] Speaker B: I am a doctor, but I don't think any of this is safe. [01:39:46] Speaker A: Can I call the bobcats from the floors below? Yeah, yeah. What am I saying? Yes and yes. Let's first go with Dutch McCock and brother John. What? How do you want to approach these cars? Are you trying to like stop them? Are you trying to get in them? [01:40:15] Speaker D: Kind of both. So my plan is as I'm charging towards the first car or the closest car and I'm assuming it's charging towards me, I'm gonna like, like, like Ryu kick one of the tables into place. That becomes a ramp right at the last second so that the car hits the ramp and goes over me and into the sea and crashes into the ceiling, I guess. [01:40:49] Speaker A: Give me. Give me a stunts jack. That's sick as that. [01:40:54] Speaker D: Check. Let's do it. I got no more turbo tokens. This is better. [01:40:58] Speaker A: What's. [01:40:58] Speaker D: What's the DC on this? [01:41:00] Speaker A: This one. Let's see. That's a DC7. [01:41:08] Speaker D: That's a 3. [01:41:10] Speaker A: Well it's not less than 5. So take two turbo tokens as your trying to get this table that just on the side of the wall in place. You start throwing it down. But you don't get it down on the floor fast enough. And this car punches through it. And you are now clinging to the hood as this car is driving in this floor 70 miles an hour. [01:41:35] Speaker E: That didn't go as planned. [01:41:39] Speaker A: We're gonna jump to Kev. Give me another I guess hot check to call on your animals. What's the D.C. this is going to be. Let's see how many floors between there are four floors. So it's gonna be a DC8. [01:41:57] Speaker C: DC8. Okay. So I'm gonna spend my tokens, all three of them to blow up. [01:42:02] Speaker A: All right. [01:42:04] Speaker C: And then I'm gonna roll a D8. So I'm at six now. [01:42:07] Speaker F: Okay, that's a five. [01:42:11] Speaker C: So that'll do it. [01:42:12] Speaker A: Yeah. You. [01:42:14] Speaker C: I just say come to me sisters. [01:42:18] Speaker A: Which sounds just like. Like almost like a roaring as if you were from the Thundercats. And you hear down the hallway, the hallway, the elevator shaft scratching and meowing and roaring as all these cats are climbing up the elevator shaft to get to you. Which will be here soon. Ruby, Hannah or Bunny. What. What are you doing in reaction to cars? [01:42:52] Speaker B: I'm going to dive for the nearest cover and you know it. No, no, I'm gonna. I'm gonna dive, slide into the nearest cover and support Dutch Peacock as best I can with as with a hail of bullets. [01:43:11] Speaker A: Okay, let's go ahead. Give me a stunts and then the weapon. Stunts is going to be a DC3. Weapons is going to be a DC6. [01:43:23] Speaker B: And edges the three. Exactly four you're able to get slide. [01:43:28] Speaker A: Up against the wall behind one of these completely steel tables. [01:43:36] Speaker B: And would this be. Would each of these count as a specific check or both of them together count as one? [01:43:46] Speaker A: I'm basically having it do it to once line in place and then the bullets to see how well you're shooting. [01:43:54] Speaker B: I, I was asking about in inspiring because whenever I succeed on a check with inspiring, I can give somebody a turbo. [01:43:59] Speaker A: Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. Two, two actions. [01:44:01] Speaker B: So, okay, so, so Dutch, you'll get one from me doing that and. All right. And then what was the, the, the, the DC on the other one? [01:44:17] Speaker A: Six for weapons. [01:44:18] Speaker B: Six. Okay. I rolled a five and I'm gonna spin the one for the six. So I succeed. [01:44:23] Speaker A: Beautiful. Yeah. So you're able to slide in place behind this table and with like medical precision, you go ahead and put your weapon over the table and you're shooting. You're able to take out two of the tires of the car that uh, Dutch McCock is, uh, clinging on to and it starts spinning in and out of control because you're not in control if you're not out of control as it starts to slow down. [01:44:50] Speaker B: And I'll give my other token to Ruby. [01:44:53] Speaker A: Beautiful Ruby or Bunny. [01:44:58] Speaker G: Bunny is just sort of waving her hands and at first it looks like she's like doing some panicked flailing, but the light of the headlights catches on her giant engagement ring and she is trying to blind some of the drivers so that they crash into each other. [01:45:17] Speaker A: Sure. I'd say give me your choice of wits or hot. [01:45:23] Speaker G: I will go with wits, please. [01:45:28] Speaker A: It's gonna be DC7. [01:45:31] Speaker G: So five. [01:45:33] Speaker A: Okay. So you don't fail by more than five, so nothing bad happens. You do take your turbo tokens. As you're trying to do that, the lights are kind of going all over the place, but there's already all the lights from the helicopters as is. So you're not really able to blind anyone with that. And you're thinking that maybe those like mesh that they're wearing under their knockoff Cheshire Cat masks are probably like helping them see and then dark. Cuz science. But yeah, you're kind of standing there. You are virtually a target as one of these are going to be bearing towards you. But we'll get to that in a second. Ruby Valentine. Got some cars coming at you 70 miles an hour in a floor. [01:46:22] Speaker F: I'm going to see this. I'm going to pull out my gun, I'm gonna shoot the tire on one of them. And with, with the goal. Actually, no, I, I just want to shoot it first. Whatever happens, happens. But as I pull it out, right as I pull the trigger, I say, consider this a warning shot. [01:46:43] Speaker A: Go ahead and take it. And then give me a weapons check. DC7. [01:46:49] Speaker F: Oh boy. I need you to know that. I actually don't. I can never Remember what what the D10s look like? So I look at my dice and I constantly lose them. And then I'll find it later on. I just don't know what it looks like. Like, I can't picture it for some reason. What was our. We have ones. Right? That group thingy. [01:47:11] Speaker A: So the ones. There's a couple skills. You can either accept a one and get half of the dire using as turbo tokens. You could turn a one into max and explode. And one more re roll a failure. [01:47:27] Speaker C: With a different skill. [01:47:28] Speaker A: Ah, yes. Once. Each of them once per episode. [01:47:34] Speaker F: But I can make. I can make this explode though, right? [01:47:36] Speaker A: You can make that explode? [01:47:37] Speaker F: Okay. I will choose to make it explode. [01:47:39] Speaker A: Great. So that becomes a 10. You graduate to a D12. [01:47:45] Speaker F: I need you to know that I am actually aiming to try and become GM for a second because I think it's funny. I. I want to try that. It sounds like fun. Do I roll the D12 now or is that just it? Okay, cool. Is this a D12? One second. That's the D10 again. There's the D12. [01:48:03] Speaker A: D12 is almost the D20. I could. [01:48:06] Speaker F: I have two. I have two. Wait, do I have two? I have one for sure. I got inspired, right? [01:48:13] Speaker A: You got inspired and you got one from your catchphrase. [01:48:16] Speaker F: I could make it explode. Get a D20 right now. I have two. I have you. Could I roll a 10? Roll 10. [01:48:22] Speaker A: You're on floor seven of nine. [01:48:23] Speaker F: I'm on floor seven of nine. How long do we become? [01:48:28] Speaker A: 60 seconds. [01:48:30] Speaker F: 60 seconds? [01:48:31] Speaker A: Yep. I have a stopwatch ready to go. [01:48:37] Speaker D: Okay, that's if you roll a 20 on a D20. [01:48:39] Speaker A: If you get a D20 and this is like part of a different suite, but we're doing a one shot. I think it's fun to sell. So if you get all the way to a 20 and roll in that 20, you become a GM for 60 seconds. You also explode to like another D20. [01:48:56] Speaker F: Okay, that. Then what I'm. I'm gonna make. Okay, I will. I'll make it explode. So that way it's at a D20. So if I. If I don't make get the D20 this round, I still have the option of just spamming weapons now. Yeah. Okay, so I. I'll make it explode. [01:49:11] Speaker A: I'll. [01:49:12] Speaker G: I'll. [01:49:12] Speaker F: Dang away. [01:49:13] Speaker A: You're out of D20. So that's 22. [01:49:15] Speaker F: 22. One second. Okay. For D7. [01:49:22] Speaker G: I know. [01:49:22] Speaker F: I'm. [01:49:22] Speaker A: I'm. [01:49:22] Speaker F: I'm gonna. This is gonna be wild. I think I Might just accidentally destroy all the cars or something like that. Okay. Yeah. And that's a two on the D20. [01:49:29] Speaker A: So. [01:49:30] Speaker F: So was that 24. [01:49:32] Speaker A: So, yeah, you pepper this car with bullets, you're just shooting. You unload the clip. You have enough time to grab another clip from wherever. As all these shells come to the ground, you reload it. You keep shooting at this car. You shoot at some of the tires. You shoot the driver, the driver, head hit tire, it just starts swerving. It hits one of the other cars, and two of the cars, like, swerve, and they somehow do like a donut U turn and go fly out and take out one of the helicopters that are outside. And you're sitting there just the smoking gun. As there's three cars that swerve to escape. One of them, Dutch Macaque, is on. As you're all trying to. As they're all trying to get you, because that's their prerogative. Yeah. [01:50:20] Speaker D: The one I'm on is. Is slowing down. [01:50:22] Speaker A: You said yes, because Dr. Shout out to the tires. So actually. [01:50:27] Speaker D: And there's two. There's two, like, regular. [01:50:30] Speaker A: There's two other souped up supras that have been fairly unscathed. [01:50:35] Speaker D: All right. [01:50:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:50:39] Speaker D: Since this one is slowing down, I don't really care too much about it. I'm gonna hop on to you tell me what roles need to be had for this. I'm gonna hop on to one of the other cars, since I'm assuming I'm on top of this, just slowing down. 1. And as I do, I want to kick in the sunroof, take my tie off, lasso, like, create a lasso, throw it at the steering wheel and try to, like, chariot, spin the steering wheel into the other car so that these two crash into each other. [01:51:12] Speaker A: Let's go special. Let's do. Let's start with a stunts check. To do that jump, that's going to be a DC7 a little bit farther away. [01:51:25] Speaker D: And that's a 8. On the 8, I blow. [01:51:27] Speaker A: Let's go. [01:51:28] Speaker D: Okay. [01:51:31] Speaker B: All right. [01:51:32] Speaker D: A on an eight, and then let's roll this D10 and then a five. That's a 13. [01:51:40] Speaker A: Yeah, great. So you're able to jump up and your jumps are so powerful, you cave in the roof of this one as you jump onto one of the other supras, you. You get your tie. Let's do. You know, let's do a hot check on this one. Let's do a hot check. DC8. [01:52:00] Speaker D: DC8. Oh, God. [01:52:02] Speaker A: Yeah. You're becoming a. A Super cowboy hot. [01:52:06] Speaker D: See? Is there anything I can do? Yeah. Okay, let's try it. You said DC8. [01:52:14] Speaker A: We're good. [01:52:15] Speaker D: Okay, let's try it. Okay, so that's a two on the hot. I'm gonna spend two to blow it up. [01:52:24] Speaker A: Hell yeah. Hell yeah. [01:52:27] Speaker D: So that is. I'm at four now and odd is now at D6. Come on. Yeah man. So that's another two. So that's only six. And I only have one more turbo token. Anyone able to help me in any possible way? [01:52:56] Speaker C: Fortunately I'm all out. Otherwise I could give you one. [01:52:59] Speaker A: Wait, didn't, didn't. Doctor, didn't you give one to Dutch? [01:53:03] Speaker B: I did. Did you already use that one? [01:53:05] Speaker D: That's the one I would use now, but it would only get me up to a seven. [01:53:09] Speaker A: Let. Let's do this. This is one of my favorite things. Devil's Bar. Again, a simple one. You can succeed. I'll let you blow up this dice if you take a superficial damage. [01:53:20] Speaker D: You know what? That's fair. [01:53:21] Speaker A: Let's do it. All right. You're going to blow up. [01:53:25] Speaker D: Cool. So I'm gonna blow up pot again. [01:53:28] Speaker A: Yep. [01:53:29] Speaker D: Sweet. Alrighty. So that's in total. That's 410 and then 3 for 13 total. [01:53:42] Speaker A: Beautiful. You lasso on to this guys. You. You're able to get both of their hands somehow like tied to the steering wheel. And you are taking this supra for a rodeo. It is swerving. You're able to get it barely in control. But at the last second you, you swing it. You get this car slammed into the other one driving. You're able to jump off just in time as for no reason. They both experience explode. [01:54:19] Speaker D: And I walk away not even looking at the explosion. [01:54:22] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:54:22] Speaker D: You do a sunglasses out of my cargo pants. [01:54:26] Speaker A: Father. Father. I keep thinking father Brother Jones. Like let's go. Yeah. [01:54:32] Speaker E: Never stop blowing up brother. [01:54:34] Speaker A: Never stop blowing up. [01:54:37] Speaker D: And I run towards, I'm assuming the, the cars crash through like the windows of this floor. Gonna run towards one of the helicopters. [01:54:47] Speaker A: Yeah. As you start doing that you all hear amongst like that you hear like over like intercoms like they destroyed all the cars. Send in the robots. And as you're running like five like iRobot ass looking robots jump out of the helicopters. Helicopters start flying away and they start there start running up just in time for Kev. You hear some comforting sounds of meowing and yelling and screaming and roaring as from the elevator shaft. 20 Bobcats run up and start running towards the robots. Give me. [01:55:34] Speaker C: I request that one Bobcat is driving a bobcat. [01:55:38] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. They got a bobcat helmet on. [01:55:42] Speaker B: Bobcat. No Bobcat. [01:55:45] Speaker A: Give me for just a hell of a. Give me a brawl check for these cats. [01:55:49] Speaker C: Brawl check for the cats. All right, that's a two. [01:55:56] Speaker A: You see that? They start going and D. Suddenly there is an all out brawl of 20 bobcats and five robots as Dutchmancock is running towards it. We're gonna go really quickly to Dr. Hannah West. There's a lot of happening, but it's. [01:56:18] Speaker B: Yeah, no, these buildings are incredibly unsafe. But like, do they, do they have like the, do they at least have the like little emergency defibrillators on the walls? [01:56:29] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Heart attacks. Can't have that. [01:56:33] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, of course I have other things. Yes. Heart attacks. No. I'm going to just grab one of those off the wall and use it to kind of wrap one of the robots up and just sort of pulse the head. [01:56:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll accept a weapons AR attack for that. [01:56:52] Speaker B: Yeah, let's go attack. Tech Cloud's fun. [01:56:54] Speaker A: Sure, let's, let's make that a DC DC7. [01:57:01] Speaker B: I got a one, but I want to use my once per. Once per thing of blowing up. Oh yeah, and that counts as a four, right? [01:57:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, it counts as fours, then graduates. [01:57:15] Speaker B: All right. [01:57:16] Speaker A: Ah. [01:57:16] Speaker B: And so four, four, eight. [01:57:20] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, yeah, you're, you're able to do that and you put them together, you spend the robot hand just go clear and this thing fries. It explodes. Harmony in front of you with some sick fireworks effects. Two of the robots are being distracted by these bobcats. You see one of the bobcats, the one that's driving the other bobcat, has taken one of the arms and it's mouth and is whacking the other robot with it. Let's go to Bunny. [01:57:51] Speaker G: Ah, Are there still helicopters around? [01:57:53] Speaker A: The helicopters flew off after they sent in the robots. [01:57:56] Speaker G: Okay, then I would like to just help the bobcats and just sort of helpfully toss like a couple pieces of tuna at one of the cars just to get the bobcat inside of it because, you know, maybe they got confused. [01:58:14] Speaker A: The, the cars. [01:58:16] Speaker G: There's only one car's completely gone. Okay. [01:58:19] Speaker A: It's just there's only one car that it has popped tires. Yeah, two pop tires. It can technically still drive. [01:58:27] Speaker G: Is there anyone in it? [01:58:30] Speaker A: The. No, the guy got peppered with bullets. So there's someone in the driver's seat, but they're not in, in it because they're dead. [01:58:36] Speaker G: Okay, cool. So Bunny is going to go over to the car and just slowly drive it like following the speed limit of this building until it is under the vent where the flaming sword sky popped out of. And she's just going to like climb on top of the car and see how easily she can reach the bed. [01:58:59] Speaker A: Sure. Give me a slight sneak. I guess as you're sneaking in a super. Super. [01:59:09] Speaker G: That's the one. [01:59:11] Speaker A: Well, the D4 got the ones, don't we? Well take your turbo. [01:59:17] Speaker G: We do have the ones. [01:59:19] Speaker A: Yeah. You could blow it up or you could take. You could re roll with a different skill. [01:59:24] Speaker G: Yeah, I'll reroll with a different skill. [01:59:27] Speaker A: Okay, let's make it drive. [01:59:30] Speaker G: Oh, that's a four. [01:59:31] Speaker A: Nice. [01:59:33] Speaker G: And another four. So eight total. [01:59:38] Speaker A: Eight. Great. You're able to maneuver the car avoiding like the other bodies, making sure the rest of the tires don't pop on like the still flaming sword on the ground. And you're able to get up and you're able to climb into the vents pretty easily actually. The smell of tuna is amplified though in this tank space. [01:59:57] Speaker G: That's fine. I love it. [01:59:59] Speaker A: All right. You could start crawling through these vents. Ruby Valentine. There is two robots that are not fighting bobcats. Two that are fighting bobcats. [02:00:15] Speaker F: One is explosive and the robots stand and in my way to the next floor. Correct. [02:00:23] Speaker A: Not quite the. You could. You are able to see tuna lady going through the vents because I don't think you exchanged names. [02:00:36] Speaker F: We have not. [02:00:38] Speaker A: But they're kind of like, they are menacing. So you think that they're probably aimed to attack you. You get close enough, which is like just probably a little closer to where you currently are. [02:00:50] Speaker F: I don't mind fighting my way through because I am very overly capable of doing just about anything. Why? Flaw arm. So do I see a way through? Because right now it just feels like the robots are the way through. And then I mean like in. On the previous floor that I was at, I beat everything there. And then the elevator opened. [02:01:26] Speaker A: I mean you saw like I said, you saw Bunny go through events. [02:01:28] Speaker F: I saw Bunny go through the vent, yeah. That's on a roof. [02:01:31] Speaker A: That's kind of the clearest thing you could maybe like maybe there's something outside like cuz it's kind of just windows all across the walls. Like where there's pillars that have like defibrillators, guns, energy drinks tables, but it's mostly windows. [02:01:59] Speaker F: Then I think I will actually go through the vents. [02:02:03] Speaker A: Okay, go ahead and give me, give me a sneak. [02:02:08] Speaker F: Sneak. [02:02:09] Speaker A: DC6. [02:02:14] Speaker F: There it is. DC with six. [02:02:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:02:21] Speaker F: Are we, is it meets beats. [02:02:22] Speaker A: Yes. [02:02:23] Speaker F: Okay, cool. Six. Great. [02:02:26] Speaker A: You're able to move fast enough where the robots are becoming distracted and jump into the vent shaft. The smell of tuna is leading you towards where bunny is headed. [02:02:42] Speaker F: I'm gonna climb on in and I. I still have the sword with me and stuff. And I'm also just a person going through event. We're going to be making noise anyways. So once I hear that, you know, like, I don't know, maybe it's the handle of my sword or my hand or whatever that kind of comes in and makes a noise, I will just let buddy know that I'm also here. Just like, don't worry, it's friendly. [02:03:11] Speaker G: Oh good. I was worried it was one of them bobcats coming to steal my fish. [02:03:15] Speaker F: Oh, well then you better keep moving because right now there's bobcats. Cats are gonna be real upset when they realize robots jump got nothing. [02:03:26] Speaker G: I mean, I don't know. For all we know those robots are full of hors d'oeuvres. Maybe they're hors d'oeuvre robots. [02:03:34] Speaker F: I fought a bunch of suits of armor that had nothing inside it. So I guess anything's possible here. [02:03:42] Speaker G: Oh well, the armor's empty. I bet the robots are too. That's disappointing. I would have expected more of them part like this. You know, all this talk about his wealthy man can't even afford to kill his armor. [02:03:56] Speaker F: Well, let's just hope that he still has it. Cuz I kind of want it. Of course I'm willing to share. Rather not kill anyone. I don't need to. Truce? [02:04:09] Speaker G: Sure. I mean, I only came to this dinner, to this event for the free dinner. So. [02:04:17] Speaker F: We'Ll tell you what. We get to the top, both of us make it in one piece, and you can have all the dinner you want. My treat. [02:04:29] Speaker G: You've got yourself a deal. [02:04:33] Speaker F: And we both crawl up their tits. Out. [02:04:37] Speaker A: Dutch peacock. You are charging a robot and about to go punch one. [02:04:41] Speaker D: I assume there's only two left. [02:04:44] Speaker A: Yeah, the other two are being handled pretty well. These are very intelligent and strong bobcats. [02:04:51] Speaker D: I want to turn to the robos and just be like, hey you tin. [02:04:56] Speaker E: Cans, what's your programming? [02:04:59] Speaker A: Exterminate. [02:05:01] Speaker E: Well, how about you exterminate our enemies for us or else I'm gonna squeeze your heads between my biceps and crush them. [02:05:12] Speaker D: And I kind of take a piece of stray metal from like the broken cards and like and flex and completely crush it between my muscles and I want to roll my. I have a menacing ability. Use brawl instead of Hot when intimidating. And I PC. [02:05:27] Speaker A: Oh, beautiful. I could do that. Yeah. Go ahead and roll that. Let's see they got. That's gonna be a DC8 as they're sitting there. Computing, computing. Computing. [02:05:42] Speaker E: Gonna work for us. [02:05:44] Speaker D: Oh no. That's a one. But I will use the ones and I will treat that as a max roll. I'm going to burst up my bra to a eight. That is six plus four. That's a ten. [02:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah. There's a computing. Computing directive accepted. We will fight for you, brother. [02:06:14] Speaker E: Hell yeah, brother. [02:06:16] Speaker D: And I give him like a. A hearty handshake. [02:06:20] Speaker A: They reciprocated kind. Both the two remaining reciprocated kind and just go three way handshake, brother. Yeah. [02:06:31] Speaker D: Cool. And now I've recruited some robots. [02:06:34] Speaker A: One of them says there is a ladder outside the building. [02:06:40] Speaker E: Well, hey, that's some good info to have. [02:06:42] Speaker D: I prefer peek out the window. [02:06:44] Speaker A: Yeah, you're see it's a rope ladder leading to the upper floor is hanging outside the windows. [02:06:53] Speaker D: I'll climb up it, but I'll get the robots to actually lead the way. [02:06:59] Speaker A: You'll. One more time that last part. [02:07:00] Speaker D: I'll let the robots lead the way and I'll climb up the ladder. [02:07:04] Speaker A: They start climbing up ahead of you. Ev and Dr. Hannah West. You've seen two people go up vent. You saw two robots and two buff burly men start climbing a ladder on the outside. [02:07:23] Speaker B: They're not an elevator. [02:07:26] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. All the elevators you see were the ones that came in. [02:07:30] Speaker C: Oh no. New one opened up? [02:07:32] Speaker A: Nope. [02:07:37] Speaker B: Well, what do you think? Do we want to climb the outside of the building or attempt to crawl through a vent? [02:07:46] Speaker C: Climbing a building, it's easier to protect you. [02:07:51] Speaker B: Works for me. [02:07:53] Speaker C: Climb on. I will be carrying you up this ladder. [02:08:04] Speaker A: You, you know, give me, give me a hot check, Kev. Hot check. Okay, let's say a DC6 as you climb holding a person on a rope ladder roughly 70ft in the air. [02:08:23] Speaker C: That is only a four. [02:08:28] Speaker A: A four out of a D6. [02:08:31] Speaker C: Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, I have a D8. And out of four. [02:08:34] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [02:08:35] Speaker C: Wait, wait, wait, wait. I. Would this count as protecting someone? [02:08:40] Speaker A: Sure. [02:08:41] Speaker C: Then add some minus three to the dc. [02:08:43] Speaker A: Oh then yes, you're able to do this without breaking a sweat. You, you see those burly men above you, you're like they can't do this. I'm so good at this. As you're looking at these beautiful woman that's depending on me, you look back into the room. You see the robots have been decimated and you See that? The bobcat that was riding another bobcat have recruited the other bobcats to get the robot pieces onto the car and have all got into the car and are driving out of the building. [02:09:14] Speaker C: Incredible. [02:09:16] Speaker A: Yeah. So you are all climbing the two in the vents. It's really pretty smelly, but you're climbing through. You peek through what you assume from the incline is the floor above you, and you see just a lot of large reptiles kind of just walking around. You see, like, a torso on the ground that had a red wristband from the arm that's still attached. And you clearly see that, like, this is the eighth floor. So you can keep going. And you are all again meeting on the ninth floor. You two pop up from a floor vent in like, kind of a. Like a hallway leading to one grand big door. Everyone else climbs from the ladders, and in front of you is a large golden door. Seem to be made out of pure gold. For that reason, this floor is actually a little bit colder than all the other floors, as it doesn't. So the gold doesn't melt. And there is a sign that just says, congratulations. On top of the door. You all reconvened. [02:10:43] Speaker B: Take a moment looking out over everything and refresh my lipstick. [02:10:48] Speaker C: No, I'm gonna snatch it out of your hands because I could have poisoned it. I'm gonna apply it to myself. Wait. And then, because it could have poisoned anything below. Just the top layer. So then I will just kiss you to apply it to your own lips. [02:11:02] Speaker B: Yep. [02:11:03] Speaker C: Very professionally. [02:11:07] Speaker A: Hot. [02:11:10] Speaker D: I like to the group, and I'm. [02:11:11] Speaker E: Just like, mission might not be over yet. [02:11:14] Speaker D: As I carefully walk towards the door. And as I do, I. I take out, like, the. The cylindrical heel parts of both of my combat boots. As you see, I pull out two pieces of something out of my large camo cargo pants. And you see that the cylindrical pieces of my boots are like clips that I attach into two Tommy guns. And I have two tommy guns coming into the final little hurrah here. [02:11:42] Speaker A: Let's go. You see that? Brother John has taken off, like, the bottom of their boots. Like, it kind of, like, slide off, and they actually, like, form into, like, almost like gloves. They're like kind of mesh forming. And you see, they put the gloves on, and they both, like. It basically has, like, wolverine claws comes out, and they're just like, hell yeah, brother. Just like old times bringing out the claws. [02:12:13] Speaker E: I remember the last time you took those out. [02:12:15] Speaker A: Oh, it was a blood bath. Was cleaning those stains out. Exactly. You lot coming in. Are we gonna have all the fun. [02:12:27] Speaker C: Oh, let's see this through. [02:12:31] Speaker G: Digs through her purse and at the bottom, as we've established, there is in a very up do. So she has like a pretty sizable can of hairspray and also a lighter for her smoke breaking. So she holds those in her hand sort of ready to go. [02:12:51] Speaker D: I kicked the door down. [02:12:55] Speaker A: You kick the door down and you are basically seeing what the definition of opulence is. You see the floor has been lined with diamond encrusted tiles and the ceiling. There's seven chandeliers all across this room. And you see sitting on what basically equates to a throne. You see Vittorio Iron Teeth crew sitting there and just didn't think anyone would make it. Well, I'm so glad you lot made it here. All you little red pants. Well, they're going to kind of like tap their cane on the floor and sit up and they start hunched and then they start like sitting up, like standing up upright and starts rolling their shoulders and they're like, well, I wasn't gonna give it up without a fight. And they're going to grab their rope from one end and throw it off, revealing that. You think they'd be called iron teeth because they're teeth, but really you see that under their robe they have two metal arms and their hands are all like these claws sharpened to a point similar to that of shark teeth. And they're. You gotta get through me. And this man went through basically Master Roshi transformation where instead of being a frail looking man is now metal arms charging at you, running fast. Who's reacting first? [02:14:50] Speaker D: I think the robots are in the front, so whatever they want to do. [02:14:54] Speaker A: Also they're like, oh, but they're running forward regardless. I, you know, I'll give them some brawl rolls. Well, okay. Well unfortunately that was a 3 and a 7 on their tough checks against a 13 brawl. So they start, they, they put up their fists to attack and these metal claws, these metal teeth rip these, these robots in half and start beating each, beating the other robot with one. And they're like, can't use my own tools against me. Fools. [02:15:37] Speaker C: You said there's chandeliers in here? Seven, seven of them. I want to throw one of my knives and sever the chandelier and bring it crashing down. Phantom of the Opera style. [02:15:49] Speaker A: Incredible. Give me a weapons check please. [02:15:53] Speaker C: Oh no. Well, good chance of going up that, that's a one. [02:16:00] Speaker A: Would you like to re roll that? [02:16:03] Speaker C: I would like to roll that with a different skill. [02:16:09] Speaker A: I think it's. Did you have an idea. [02:16:12] Speaker C: Stunts. [02:16:13] Speaker A: Yeah, stunts works. [02:16:14] Speaker C: I don't think I can make an argument for hot, though. I'd like to. [02:16:17] Speaker A: I mean, it would be very hard to take down the chandelier with a knife. [02:16:21] Speaker C: It would be. [02:16:22] Speaker A: It would be charismatic for the whole group. [02:16:25] Speaker C: Just. Just real good looking. [02:16:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:16:28] Speaker C: Oh, that's an eight, baby. Okay, so that blows up. [02:16:32] Speaker A: Let's go. [02:16:33] Speaker C: Now we're on a D10. And that's a 10. [02:16:38] Speaker A: Let's go. [02:16:40] Speaker F: Double up. [02:16:41] Speaker C: Okay, so we're on a 12 now. And that is a. The nine. Oh, really close. So that. Oh, boy. 18 plus nine. 26, I think. [02:16:52] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You are able to throw your knife with such deft accuracy that you sever like the Jesus bolt of this chain, basically the one holding everything together. The chain just collapses and it falls down right on top of Vittorio Iron Teeth Cruise. They seem to. They hold up their arms as to kind of like shield them, but you see that a lot of these golden stakes, basically, because these were normal things. Everything was made of gold and diamond. They've kind of got into the arms. They're trying to get it off of them to move out from the chandelier. So they are incapacitated briefly as he's. [02:17:41] Speaker C: Trying to get that figured out. I'm just gonna say keep your hands to yourself if you want to keep your hands. [02:17:54] Speaker B: Hey, Dusty, this is. This is a really odd question. Has anyone else gotten here and failed? [02:18:00] Speaker A: Hesitates. [02:18:02] Speaker B: Go. Tails. [02:18:06] Speaker A: Yes. Three people. You see them dead on the ground. [02:18:09] Speaker B: So, fun fact, My character is a gender inversion of Herbert west from the Reanimator, the horror film from the 80s. [02:18:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:18:24] Speaker B: Can I make a zombie? [02:18:28] Speaker A: Yes. Roll me a width check, if you would. [02:18:35] Speaker D: Oh, wits. [02:18:36] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's say to create a zombie with very few materials. Let's call that a DC10. [02:18:43] Speaker B: A DC10. [02:18:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [02:18:46] Speaker B: That is a four. [02:18:48] Speaker A: So it blows up. Let's go. Just use six. [02:18:54] Speaker B: And that is a six and blows up. [02:18:56] Speaker A: Let's go. Yes. [02:18:59] Speaker C: She's never looked hotter. [02:19:02] Speaker B: And that's a three. So that'll be a 13. [02:19:05] Speaker A: That's a 13. That is. It does pass. You're able to kind of like quick stitch the two bodies together and then like, unfortunately, there's no real head and pace, so you just get like an arm for the head. But they're able to run and they're able to go. [02:19:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I pull out this little green syringe from my. My suit and just stab it with this thing. [02:19:31] Speaker A: You can't hear it because they have no mouth yet. They're still screaming. [02:19:36] Speaker B: Oh, of course it's fine. [02:19:38] Speaker A: And so they start. They have allegiance with you. So they're gonna start running at the big scary guy with metal arms because Vittorio is incapacitated from the chandelier all out. I'll have one other person react before they do something. [02:19:56] Speaker G: If you have something. Ruby. [02:20:00] Speaker F: I. I don't have anything right now. I would still like to wait and see how this goes out. [02:20:09] Speaker G: I mean, I would like to look around the room just because it seems like there must be some way to tell people that we won. [02:20:22] Speaker A: Yeah. This is basically like the command center. So along with all the opulence, you see there's like a wall of computers and cameras seeing everything. You see, like, a lot of the cameras are just pointing at, like, blood and bodies. But it's also just like this is where he keeps all of his prized possessions. And as well, so there's fancy computers. There's also glass cases filled with, like, antiques, antique weapons, weird stuff. Like dream it. And it's here because Victorio has more money than most gods. [02:20:58] Speaker G: She is going to walk over to his beautiful collection of antiques and. And she's going to walk past it and walk to the sort of camera bay where he has been watching. And she's going to walk past it to the little buffet table and empty out her purse. Tuna and get some new food. [02:21:20] Speaker A: Sure. Give me wits. Roll. [02:21:31] Speaker G: That's an eight. It blows up. [02:21:34] Speaker F: Yeah. [02:21:41] Speaker G: I'm gonna spend it to blow up my 12. [02:21:44] Speaker A: Let's. Oh, you're at a D10. [02:21:47] Speaker G: Oh, oops. I skipped the 10. I went from an 8. Oh. So I didn't skip the 10. I just rolled a 10 and forgot that tens exist. So I only just went 2 to get it to blow up. I rolled an 8. [02:21:59] Speaker A: Okay. [02:22:00] Speaker G: Okay. So that I rolled an 8 on a D8. Then I rolled an 8 on a D1 but thought was a D12 because I forgot that 10 existed. But then I just rolled a 1 on the D12, so that is 19 total. [02:22:15] Speaker A: Did you already use the turn to 12 explosion? [02:22:19] Speaker G: Yeah. Ooh. But I can get the half the turbo tokens of the die value to get six more turbo tokens. So I'll do that. [02:22:31] Speaker A: I think it's on the failure, though. [02:22:33] Speaker G: It just says accepting at one. So I'm accepting a nat one on my final dice. [02:22:40] Speaker A: It. I'll take it. Take those turbo tokens. So let's see. That was 8 and the 10. [02:22:48] Speaker G: 10 plus 1. Yeah. [02:22:50] Speaker A: 19. This tiny buffet table. Not only does it have, like, incredibly fresh tuna. Like, like, not just chicken of the sea, actual, like, tuna. It also has chicken of the sea, has some, like, nice deviled eggs that have some caviar in the middle. And you see next to them, you see grenades. [02:23:13] Speaker G: Oh, lovely. [02:23:14] Speaker F: So. [02:23:14] Speaker G: So she, like, pops a piece of tuna in her mouth, pops the pin out of the grenade, pops another piece of tuna in her mouth, throws the grenade towards Mr. Iron Man. [02:23:27] Speaker F: Yeah. [02:23:27] Speaker A: Give me a weapons check, please. [02:23:29] Speaker G: That's a two on a D8. I'm gonna use turbo tokens to make it explode. [02:23:34] Speaker A: You just got a bunch. Yeah. [02:23:36] Speaker G: Wait, so that 2 minus 8 is 6, and then I got a 7 on a D10. So I'm gonna use the rest of my turbo tokens to make it explode. [02:23:51] Speaker A: Okay. [02:23:53] Speaker G: Damn it. I'm one short, and that's an 11. [02:23:55] Speaker C: I can give you one. I can give you one on a one to one ratio because I'm loyal. [02:24:01] Speaker G: So then I get a D12. Okay. [02:24:04] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm just gonna chuck my other knife to, like, knock the pin out for you mid throw. Knock the pin out with another knife throw. [02:24:12] Speaker G: Okay, that's only a six. So that is 12. Plus eight is 20. Plus 10 is 30. Plus six is 36. [02:24:23] Speaker A: Yeah, it's 75 more than there's 17. Tough check. They got to resist that. So you throw the grenade, and it lands basically at their feet as they're kind of still struggling from the chandelier. And he's going. And they're going to quickly try to stop it, but the grenade explodes, proposing them out from the chandelier. Some of these diamonds and gold stakes get pushed into their body, and they're going to, like, fly across the room, hitting a wall. And they get second, but they stand up now a little bit bloodier, and just. They look severely hurt, and just. Oh, these teeth are gonna rip you to shreds. [02:25:14] Speaker F: And I use my gun to shoot him. [02:25:18] Speaker D: Let's go. [02:25:20] Speaker F: We got him. We got him right where we need him. [02:25:23] Speaker A: Guys, go ahead and give me a weapons. You're at a D20, aren't you? [02:25:28] Speaker F: D20. [02:25:29] Speaker C: Do it, do it, do it. [02:25:30] Speaker F: Everybody below you. Send me energy. [02:25:33] Speaker G: Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. [02:25:35] Speaker C: The full moon will be upon you. [02:25:37] Speaker F: Let's go, let's go. Come on, come on. I really, really want this. This is the only time, I won't lie. I threw it outside of my thing. It backed us to a second. One second. Too much energy. Let me just do. There you go. Too much energy. [02:25:56] Speaker A: Oh, wait. [02:25:57] Speaker F: Does anybody have a Turbo token? [02:25:59] Speaker C: Just use my last one. [02:26:02] Speaker B: I do. [02:26:04] Speaker C: Or do you have two? [02:26:06] Speaker B: Don't have loyal, though. [02:26:08] Speaker C: Two? You need two, then. [02:26:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I need two. I only have one. [02:26:11] Speaker A: I'll allow it. But I'll allow it. Yeah, you got one. You could just. Yeah. [02:26:15] Speaker D: Can we combine, like, one for me, one for me to make? [02:26:19] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. There we go. There you go. Would that bring you up to where you had a 19? [02:26:23] Speaker F: Yes. [02:26:23] Speaker A: Okay. [02:26:24] Speaker F: That's why I started doing this 20. [02:26:25] Speaker A: It's not a natural, but you do explode and get to roll again. [02:26:29] Speaker C: Okay, come on, come on, come on. [02:26:34] Speaker F: You're gonna give me, like the. I get like three twenties in a row. Come on, come on. I'm so scared to let this go. [02:26:42] Speaker A: Please. [02:26:44] Speaker F: No, that's not it. It's so upsetting. But I did get a 16, so. [02:26:51] Speaker A: A 36 against their 21. Tough check. So they are angry and charging towards you. You see that their arms are kind of almost like extending like. Like the metal arm are made of flexible metal. And they're kind of dragging behind them. And they're about to swing down these claws of shark teeth going. And you just get them bop right between the eyes and the claws. The hands stop moving and fall to the floor, limp, inches from you. Ruby Valentine. You see that as they're going down to the ground, Vittorio's face stuck in almost that of a raucous laugh. And he falls dead to the ground. The TV walls behind you all start, become green and say, congratulations, you win. Confetti poppers pop every everywhere. And it's like a celebration, literally, to celebrate sound. Music comes on, like celebrate good times. And then suddenly, the thing has a clock with two minutes on. Now get ready to leave. This building will explode in 1 minute 55 second. But along the wall next to computers, a panel slides up and there's six jetpacks there. [02:28:35] Speaker C: I was really waiting for Bunny to use the hairspray as her own personal jetpack. [02:28:42] Speaker F: Well, the jet, like, where. Where we. We are. We are so high up. What if the jetpack runs out of fuel? That's true. [02:28:53] Speaker C: That's true. It's the backup of the jetpack. [02:28:55] Speaker F: That's what I'm saying. You kind of got. [02:28:57] Speaker D: I looked at brother John as well as the rest of them. [02:29:01] Speaker E: He's like, why take the jetpack when you could do the more fun thing and go down? [02:29:07] Speaker D: And I am going to rip off, you see, like that heart with fire that says mom tattoo on my arm. And you see, I Rip it off. And what you thought was muscle was actually a. Like, a bomb. I do have the demolition feature. I'm gonna put it in the middle of the room, and I'm just gonna blow up the flooring till we get down to the bottom. Yeah. [02:29:33] Speaker A: Brother John's like, let's fucking go. This is my favorite part. Anyone who would like to get a jetpack could get a jetpack. [02:29:41] Speaker F: I want to wear a jet. I want to wear a jetpack for safety. Like, I'm gonna come down. But, like, for example, let's say it's like. And then the floor starts giving way and it's around my wall. I have a jetpack, so I can just. You know, it's just safety purposes. I want to go down the express route, but, like, you know, maybe the express route doesn't want me. [02:30:00] Speaker A: The. The explosion goes off, leaving a platform with all of you on it as it crashes through. You see suddenly reptiles. Then you see. See the bobcat still like. Like doing donuts in the car. They decided they didn't want to drive out. You see the glow in the dark rooms. You see, like, more robots. You see giant hamsters and wheels. You see all these weird things, and you land, and then you end up on the bottom floor. All the gates have gone up. Everyone sees. Seems very. Everyone here that is alive is very confused. But they are running around. They are leaving now. And you see that all the. The video screens. You have 30 seconds. Get out of this place. [02:30:52] Speaker C: If I may be gay for a moment, of course I'd like to. [02:30:56] Speaker A: 35 seconds now. [02:30:58] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 35 seconds. I'll be gay for 35 seconds. I'd like to take the jetpack and. And Dr. Hannah west and just fly down instead of taking the express route so that we can be making out the whole time. If she wants to make out, of course, we already shared lipstick. It's the professional thing to do. [02:31:20] Speaker B: We just got to continue making lipstick. Making sure the lipstick is fine. [02:31:23] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [02:31:25] Speaker F: That's what they call it now. Making lipstick together. Okay, while they're doing that, I have a question. Did iron teeth, like, bank account also. Come with us. [02:31:38] Speaker A: Once you are leaving the building with 10 seconds left, you check your sick watch that you obviously had Ruby Valentine, and you see a balance transfer of $7 million into your account. Out. And that seems. That's actually for everyone else in this room because the root, the bracelets also deactivated and had a RFID in them. So everyone who made it and killed them, y'all. Got $7 million. [02:32:08] Speaker C: Best job I've ever taken. [02:32:11] Speaker F: Look at it. I nod and then I get the out. Not before reaching down. That's right. Another wig. I still have black natural hair. In fact, actually, it might be a little bit brown for, you know, that. That exoticness that I was talking about earlier and in. And now the brown is hair kind of pops out. And this whole time it was just one of those long unicorn braids, fully back. So that way I was nice and professional. This whole time, my titties are still out. And the explosions. And it's ripped up all my clothes. Oh, no. So as I get out, I grab an oversized blazer, put it on because everything's been ripped up. I've got nothing underneath except a gut. And button it up just enough where you can see the cleavage. And that's. That's how I choose to exit. The only thing that didn't blow up, though, were my high heels. [02:33:25] Speaker A: And as this scene, this visage, everyone. [02:33:30] Speaker D: Escapes actually before I think it explodes moments before. And I will wait till moments before for dramatic effect. Moments before the building explodes. As I look down at my watch, which now says, you know, plus seven million bucks or whatever. And we're at the entranceway of the building, I kind of put an arm on Brother John's shoulder, look back at the building that's about to explode. [02:33:57] Speaker E: Well, I hope you packed a warm sweater, brother, because it's about to be a Cold day in hell. [02:34:04] Speaker D: And then we'll walk out of the building as the building explodes behind us. [02:34:09] Speaker A: Explosions going out. The explosions telling Never stop blowing Up. Thank you for listening to A Cold Day in Hell. One shot using Never Stop Blowing Up. I was an IM your GM for this, Dustin at Dusty Hill. Thank you for our cast, which is going to be Aki as Ruby Valentine, Alyssa as Bunny Bell, Aubrey as Dr. Hannah West. Ferris as Kestrel Kevlar, and our guest, Chris Tom as Dutch Macaque. All their links to all their socials are going to be in the description. Thanks for listening. All the music for this was from Epidemic Sound. And see you next year.